This was taken in Central Park on a trip with David, Karen and Mom and Dad. They met up with Gary in New York as he was attending a hotel convention. They ate at Tavern on the Green and visited the Metropolitan Museum.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
4 Generations
This picture was taken at Meghan's home by the Mesa Country Club and we had gotten together for Sunday dinner on Mother's Day 2oo1. Meghan is holding Lauryn who was born the previous October. Karen and Eric had moved to Mesa in 2000.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Summer 2005
By Diane Miller: Jason, Emily and kids came down from Utah and the family came over to my house for a swim. Karen and Eric dropped by for a visit and to join the fun.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Karen's Things
It may be easier to ask the question...what DIDN'T Karen collect?! While Karen was in the hospital in Salt Lake and it didn't look like she was going to make it, I decided that I would take some shots of Karen's home to perserve the memory of what was. The following pictures are the ones I took.
Karen's Closet, Bathroom and the Cubbie Hubby!
Karen's collection of shoes
and more shoes!
More closet items...
Small portion of her purse collection
Clothes and more shoes...
Bathroom paraphernalia
Nail polish and tools
and last, but not least...what we refer to as the cubbie hubby! Eric built this for Karen to store her clothing in the bedroom.
The Sewing Room
This hung on the sewing room door for years with the message...aren't all housewives desparate?!
This was one room that ebbed and flowed with organization, yet it was always my favorite room to sit in and explore. It was much like an attic that you knew had treasure to yet find!
This form was a signature item of Karen's sewing room with the straw hat and her wedding veil draped on it.
Fabric samples abound!
Rolls of fabric...if Karen found fabric she liked more than likely she'd be tempted to buy anywhere from 5 yds to a roll!
Sewing chair.
Shelves filled with goodies of every kind...for the crafty and creative mind!
Karen never met a storage container she didn't like!
Walking in the Front Door
Loved the art at the front door! Karen had purchased two painting by this same artist in Park City one summer.
This was a sitting area next to the armoire in the dining room, which was really the living room!
Karen had Eric help her paint pink stripes in the living room area, which she used for a dining room
This was a collection of Karen's framed items that hadn't found a home at the time.
This was another option Karen was considering at the time. Ever changing!
The 6 dining room chairs were always draped in fabric for consideration as well!
Lori Smith had given these chairs to Karen and she draped them with fabrics that she thought she might like to cover them in.
This slip-covered chair is indictive of Karen's style, stemming from her years in San Antonio when she was first introduced to Shabby Chic.
This is the armoire that Karen painted in Dover and used as a computer desk.
This was the north wall of what was the dining room that Karen had used as a sitting area.
Karen's Kitchen
This was Karen's spot in the kitchen. I think she felt like she could direct the coming and goings best sitting here.
This is the hood above the stove that was built, intending to lay white subway tile on the part that is detailed with a pencil and the band around the edge with a blue and white tile.
Karen took a regular chandelier above her kitchen table and turned it shabby chic by painting the brass. She would hang things from it on occasion.
This clock was a favorite, most likely found in Dover at the auction!
My view by Diane Miller
I traveled extensively for work during the timeframe of Karen's death. I took the time during my flights to write about my thoughts and feelings of Karen's passing because I knew that I wanted to get my experience down on paper as to not forget any details from my perspective.
"Karen died on June 11, 2006. What a journey the past few months have been. I’m very sad that I have to go the rest of my life without her. I need to write about the events from my view and I’m not sure where to start. I guess the beginning would work. On the morning of April, we talked on the phone and Karen told me that she had received a call that morning from the transplant center and they had a pancreas for her ...and could I give her and Eric a ride to the airport. I had a scheduled business appointment in Tempe for 11am and it would be too close to arrange a ride, so she called Keri Carlson for a ride. I stopped on the way to my appointment, to borrow a white camisole, because I couldn’t find mine anywhere. It gave me a chance to say goodbye, although Karen was packing and stressed to get things done before they had to leave. We didn’t get much of any chance to discuss the kids, but she always knew that when she had to leave like this... I would take the responsibility of taking care of them.
I didn’t worry too much about her going because she had such a laid back attitude towards her last few transplants and thing just would work out. But, it did cross my mind that she had looked so good and things had been going pretty good the past year and a half. I also knew that Karen would not turn down a good match for a transplant and didn’t question it beyond that. It seemed from the first report after her 1st surgery that things just seemed like it was not good. But once again, things just always seemed to work out before, but that nagging feeling that it seemed somewhat different. I knew Karen was not doing well because she didn’t call me. I talked to her a time or two, but I knew that I would hear from her more if she felt somewhat better. It just seemed like she never had the opportunity to really recover between operations. The first one lasted near to 12 hours and they never really finished. Her main vein in her leg collapsed and they had to clamp off the blood flow to the organs in order for the vascular surgeon to put some stints in her leg to save it. Dr. Belknap said that her veins were the worst veins he had ever worked on. The next surgery they went in to finish the operation and there was a blood clot. The next two, they went in again and ended up flushing out the organs, to give the pancreas the best chance at survival. After that there was internal bleeding and still was never sewn up completely. Along the way, she ended up having her pancreas removed because she didn’t want to endure another operation. They ended up finding some pus pockets behind the pancreas and hoped that treating that would make her recovery speedier. I must admit that at about the 10th or 11th operation, I lost count of her surgeries.
Dad called me one afternoon and said that all hell had broken loose. They had been suspecting an infection or something out of the ordinary because she had several days where she was delirious and loosing her mind. She then began to loose her sight, the first day the hallway being gray and then it progressed to not even being able to see the lights on in the operating room. At first they were thinking it was just the medication, but soon started a battery of testing to see what was up. There was a spinal tap, MRI, cat scan and a discovery of a fungus that had settled in her sinus cavity that was pretty fatal. They gave her a 30? chance of beating it...although even at that, you got the feeling that it was a sure shot in the dark.
I arrived in Salt Lake about this time of the hospital saga. I had wanted many times to come to Salt Lake to see Karen, but had the responsibility of the kids and work on my shoulders. I felt like the best I could do was to remove any worry from Karen about the kids being taken care of. But by this time, things were looking pretty bleak and Eric had called for the kids to come to Utah. School was out that Wednesday, Jordan had graduated on Thursday and the kids left for Utah Friday morning, flying out about 11am. I had the determined feeling that this was the time to go, so the earliest I could leave using my frequent flyer miles was 9 pm and Mark took me up to the hospital. I ended up staying with Bruce that night, sleeping on the sofa bed, while Bruce slept in the chair. Bruce had already had about 3 or 4 nights in the chair and I quickly figured out that Bruce knew I was there, and therefore he could sleep through Karen’s calls for help from him. After a few calls for Bruce, and no response, she called for me the rest of the night.
Those past few days with Bruce attending Karen at the hospital had really given Karen a reliance on Bruce’s great ability to take care of her requests. Shortly after arriving at the hospital, Karen requested her pillow be rearranged and tucked under her shoulders. I proceeded to try to accomadate her request and she said, no...Bruce. A day or two later, Eric said....I use to fluff her pillow just right, but now it’s Bruce this, Bruce that....no, Bruce!
She had a hard night, having diarrhea throughout and the nurses coming in and out of the room. One particular time she called for me, she said, “I don’t want to do this anymore...I just wish I could have a quick heart attack.’ I told her I wished that for her too. She was completely miserable and I can only imagine that each minute must have seemed like an hour. I prayed throughout the night that she could just be taken. There was not much sleep that night, especially by Karen. The next morning, in the light of the day, she looked progressively worse. Her face and eyes were more swollen and I marveled at how much she could endure. I mentioned to her that she was pretty incredible and she said...what choice do I have? I told her that she could be a crabby about it all.
That day was Sunday, June 4th. An incredible day of highs and lows. Early on in the morning, a girl and guy had dropped by, asking if they could send two Elders to administer the sacrament. We said that would be great and Eric had mentioned that he hadn’t been able to take the sacrament for quite a while, due to Karen and his flying schedule.
The Fungus doctor came by and told Karen that he wanted to go in to her sinuses again that day. Things looked good, but he was unable to determine if things had spread, or been completely contained without going in. She and Eric had talked that morning and decided that they were not going to go to any more extraordinary efforts to save her life. She expressed to the doctor that very thing. That she felt like it was her time and they had too many ways to keep her alive. She wanted them to help her go as gracefully as possible. It was decided that the team of doctors would be brought together to discuss that from all angles, but meanwhile, they were to continue to consider going in again to the sinuses that day. If all was well, it would be a short operation and if she needed further scraping of the fungus, it would be 30 minutes to an hour.
Blake had been brought up to the hospital and Brigg had gone to church with Mark’s kids. Two Elders of the ward came to the room to administer the sacrament. Present were Karen, Eric, Blake, Mark and I. We proceeded to have one of those special moments in your life when you know the Lord is near and his angels are administering to you. It was one of the most powerful, poignant moments I’ve experienced. It was determined before we began that the Sacrament could only be touched to Karen’s lips. The blessing on the bread began and the words were unlike I have ever heard them. O God the Eternal Father...it was as though the heavens had opened and the Lord himself had sent heavenly messengers, to comfort and administer to us. To make us aware that he was aware of Karen and our sorrow. It was as though the highest of highs conferged with the lowest of lows. The words were spoken and they were crisp, clean, clear and powerful. Tears could not be contained and we all felt and expressed how blessed were to be present. We walked the two visitors out of the room and Blake sat in the hall quietly crying. They were so sweet and expressed their sorrow to Blake and the rest of us how sorry they were. The one really reached out to Blake and tried to express his emotions in behalf of Blake.
Eric and Karen wanted Brigg to also come to the hospital, so Mark left to bring him from the church. You could hear Brigg’s distress and tears as he came down the hall. He rushed in to Karen’s room and sobbing said, Mom...are you going to die? You can’t die. Who is going to take care of me? Karen said, Brigg, you and Blake have each other. He said, but I don’t think I can live without you. She said, Brigg, the Lord has prepared you for this and you have your dad and you have Tom and Diane, Jordan...
He kept saying, I can’t go on without you. Mark and I could see that we needed to leave the room so they could talk about it as a family. Eric said that Brigg further expressed things like .... Who is going to help me with my insulin? Karen was as the wise soul comforting and counseling her children that they could continue their lives as she would support them from the other side.
She had a surgery to remove the fungus and a couple of days later the doctor telling us that it appeared that it had been arrested, but again, he was only qualified to treat it moving forward, and the possibility it could go backward to the brain and that would be treated by another specialist. It was decided to have the surgery to see approximately where things stood. The outcome was that things looked good as far as not spreading further, but the pituitary had been damaged and she would have to be on hormone drugs the rest of her life.
Mark and I had decided earlier in the day that it would be a good idea for all the family to come together for a family prayer. All the adults were involved on both sides of the family and Eric’s dad anointed her and dad gave her a blessing. There were a lot of tears and a certain feeling of we are really nearing the end. We had discussions throughout the day about how optimistic we should be and vs. realistic. There were emotions all across the board, especially in light of things getting bleaker daily. Even the doctor reports throughout the day would put you on an emotional roller coaster. Everyone would have different views of what the meaning of it was....so to speak. One would walk away reporting how hopeful the doctor was, and the next person, reporting that it didn’t look so good! What a ride! I caught a glimpse of what it had been like all along for those at the hospital.
We all went to Mark’s for a family dinner, although Bruce stayed with Karen. He was not to hardly leave Karen alone that whole Memorial weekend and for the following weeks, would do about a 12 hour nighttime shift. As things were winding down after dinner, I told Mark that we needed to go back to the hospital. He was hesitant, as we all were so tired. It had been such an emotional day, Karen had obviously looked worse and I just wanted to go be with her and tuck her in for the night. Surprisingly to us both, Karen was much more talkative. From the time I saw, it was hard for her to talk, just from a pure energy level and she answered questions, but did not offer many comments on her own. I told her that I would have to pluck her wild hairs and maybe I’d do that in the morning. She asked why not now?! I had wanted to, but didn’t want to press the issue if it was too much. So, I got her cleaned up and Mark and I both were invigorated by the opportunity to see her a bit more chipper and wanting to communicate.
From before the time I even arrived in Utah, the thoughts kept going through my mind about how I was even going to be able to leave her. To walk away and not know if I was even going to see her again, really tore my heart out. I had a 10 day trip to Washington DC, Baltimore and Hartford. Oh, how I wished I could just stay there and help ease her burdens! I had mentioned this to Karen about how I didn’t know how I was going to leave her and she said....life has to go on. Thanks goodness I had a Southwest refundable ticket and could change it as many times as I needed. I had just decided that I would just stay there and not worry about it and I would know when the time was that I could leave. It’s happened to me before and I just had to trust that it would happen again. I decided that I just had to have in my mind that I was coming back and she would be there. That was the only way I could handle the thought and I told her that I had already had a trip scheduled to Salt Lake for a convention in 3 weeks and I would see her then. I even mentioned that to Brigg and he said that brought him a lot of comfort!
On Monday, I spent the whole day at the hospital...Bruce and I mostly. It was a much better day for Karen. We walked her several times and she sat up on the potty chair several times and was able to talk more. At one point, she looked at me, and although she couldn’t see me, she knew I was there. She didn’t speak for a minute and then asked...how am I going to take care of myself if I’m blind? We talked about it and Bruce came into the conversation. We assured her that everything would be done to make sure she had help. Mark and Gary had said that they would pay for an assistant to help her. The very thought was daunting for us all...not to mention the thoughts that Karen was having for herself. What a hard deal that would have been. Karen has always known that I would take care of her kids should anything happen to her, so that was already a given. But we did talk about the arrangements of the boys having a room at my house and staying with us when Eric was flying. I had mentioned to her that I would not be their mom, but would be Aunt Diane and she said she didn’t care if they did refer to me as mom.
When I think of Karen not being here and still, it’s so surreal that she’s not, I envision her at the hospital walking down the hall. What a hard thing that was for her and how pathetic she looked. It made me wish for her that she was out of her complete misery. We encouraged her, but in reality, for me, it all seemed so hollow. With her swelling, her blindness and staring forward into nothing, her bulging, ointment filled eyes, the high ponytail, her determination to do what everyone wanted her to do and her determination to go farther each day. It is a vision that makes me happy for her that she is out of her misery.
I was able to visit with Jim and Desi Taylor late that evening. Bishop Clarke had encouraged the ward to fast for Karen on Sunday. I had spoken to him and told him to not fast for Karen to get better, but that the Lord’s will be done and she would be comforted. The Taylor’s had been so close to Karen and Jim was really giving her the pep talk. We were all really touched that the Taylor’s would make that herculeon effort to support Karen, but Jim and Karen had always had that connection through his trials with Valley Fever and hers with the diabetes. I was able to visit them again much later in the evening when they came by again. Bruce and I sat in the hallway while they visited, because I wanted them to have that time alone with Karen since they had made such a sacrifice for her.
I was working towards being able to tell her goodbye. I could tell that the only way I could do that was to tell her I had a flight booked back to Salt Lake in 3 weeks and I would see her then. I did say, get better...and she just paused and said...well. I knew she wasn’t but that was just the thing that came out. Eric mentioned that I might want to come by the hospital the next day and say goodbye, but I knew that would just make it harder to leave and the tears would come.
I left for Washington DC that Thursday and felt really removed from it all. I almost didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone, thinking each time it rang, it was going to be ‘the call’. I had to brave it up, but I really hoped that she would not go when I was gone. But on the other hand, I didn’t want her to keep suffering. Right off when I got there, the report came that they had found a spot in her brain and the fungus was spreading. They had talked about putting her in hospice care at a place south of Salt Lake. But they asked if she could just stay at the LDS Hospital in hospice care there. They took the drips off and made her as comfortable as possible. Throughout the next ten days, I would get the report that she only had 3 days, or 24 hours, or 48 hours, but she kept rallying.
I made it through the IFE and drove to Baltimore for two days before Tom and I went up to the IBBA. I had the time to really put some thought and time into writing Karen’s life sketch and obituary. We drove up to Hartford and I just wished that the next three days would be over so I could go to Salt Lake. I really started feeling an urgency and knowing the trip was nearing it’s end, it intensified. I talked to mom and dad Saturday morning and mom was really wanting me to be there. I tried to get my flight changed to fly directly to Salt Lake, but the cost was about 450.00. We flew home that night with the thought that I would fly to Salt Lake that next morning.
I made the 10am flight and Mark picked me up with Blake and Brigg driving with them. I was more than anxious to get right to the hospital and that is certainly what I thought was happening. He drove past the streets that turned to the hospital and when I asked why...he said Kimi had lunch ready and we were all eating first. I asked who was at the hospital and he said nobody. I was pretty confused but went along with it. We got my bags unpacked and had a minute breather and Mark got a call for me to come up. If that call wouldn’t have come, it would have not been another minute before I would have requested to be taken up to the hospital. The urgency was definitely there...after all, there was no other reason I had made that trip!
When I arrived, I walked in and Eric, mom, and the nurse all expressed that they felt that Karen was waiting for me. I had felt the day before when talking to Elaine Pendarvis that Karen was going to wait for me. I sat on the window side of her bed and mom was on the other. I held her hand. She really looked beautiful. Her swelling had gone down and her eyes looked light years better. Although she still couldn’t close them completely. Her skin looked good and she had lost that puffy look. She was not coherent and her breathing was as though she was just sleeping and snoring.
I was referring to the hospice’s book and reading the signs of pending death. I told Mom that it said that they last sense to go was hearing. I told her that and she said....what? I had a good laugh over that!
Mom had said to Karen...Karen, Diane is here and you can go now. The nurse had come in to check her and remarked about Karen’s change in her breathing. Things had definitely changed since she had checked her last. She brought some meds in and put them in her port. That definitely changed her course and she died within the hour."
To this date, this is all that I wrote, but I will pervail and finish my writing...
"Karen died on June 11, 2006. What a journey the past few months have been. I’m very sad that I have to go the rest of my life without her. I need to write about the events from my view and I’m not sure where to start. I guess the beginning would work. On the morning of April, we talked on the phone and Karen told me that she had received a call that morning from the transplant center and they had a pancreas for her ...and could I give her and Eric a ride to the airport. I had a scheduled business appointment in Tempe for 11am and it would be too close to arrange a ride, so she called Keri Carlson for a ride. I stopped on the way to my appointment, to borrow a white camisole, because I couldn’t find mine anywhere. It gave me a chance to say goodbye, although Karen was packing and stressed to get things done before they had to leave. We didn’t get much of any chance to discuss the kids, but she always knew that when she had to leave like this... I would take the responsibility of taking care of them.
I didn’t worry too much about her going because she had such a laid back attitude towards her last few transplants and thing just would work out. But, it did cross my mind that she had looked so good and things had been going pretty good the past year and a half. I also knew that Karen would not turn down a good match for a transplant and didn’t question it beyond that. It seemed from the first report after her 1st surgery that things just seemed like it was not good. But once again, things just always seemed to work out before, but that nagging feeling that it seemed somewhat different. I knew Karen was not doing well because she didn’t call me. I talked to her a time or two, but I knew that I would hear from her more if she felt somewhat better. It just seemed like she never had the opportunity to really recover between operations. The first one lasted near to 12 hours and they never really finished. Her main vein in her leg collapsed and they had to clamp off the blood flow to the organs in order for the vascular surgeon to put some stints in her leg to save it. Dr. Belknap said that her veins were the worst veins he had ever worked on. The next surgery they went in to finish the operation and there was a blood clot. The next two, they went in again and ended up flushing out the organs, to give the pancreas the best chance at survival. After that there was internal bleeding and still was never sewn up completely. Along the way, she ended up having her pancreas removed because she didn’t want to endure another operation. They ended up finding some pus pockets behind the pancreas and hoped that treating that would make her recovery speedier. I must admit that at about the 10th or 11th operation, I lost count of her surgeries.
Dad called me one afternoon and said that all hell had broken loose. They had been suspecting an infection or something out of the ordinary because she had several days where she was delirious and loosing her mind. She then began to loose her sight, the first day the hallway being gray and then it progressed to not even being able to see the lights on in the operating room. At first they were thinking it was just the medication, but soon started a battery of testing to see what was up. There was a spinal tap, MRI, cat scan and a discovery of a fungus that had settled in her sinus cavity that was pretty fatal. They gave her a 30? chance of beating it...although even at that, you got the feeling that it was a sure shot in the dark.
I arrived in Salt Lake about this time of the hospital saga. I had wanted many times to come to Salt Lake to see Karen, but had the responsibility of the kids and work on my shoulders. I felt like the best I could do was to remove any worry from Karen about the kids being taken care of. But by this time, things were looking pretty bleak and Eric had called for the kids to come to Utah. School was out that Wednesday, Jordan had graduated on Thursday and the kids left for Utah Friday morning, flying out about 11am. I had the determined feeling that this was the time to go, so the earliest I could leave using my frequent flyer miles was 9 pm and Mark took me up to the hospital. I ended up staying with Bruce that night, sleeping on the sofa bed, while Bruce slept in the chair. Bruce had already had about 3 or 4 nights in the chair and I quickly figured out that Bruce knew I was there, and therefore he could sleep through Karen’s calls for help from him. After a few calls for Bruce, and no response, she called for me the rest of the night.
Those past few days with Bruce attending Karen at the hospital had really given Karen a reliance on Bruce’s great ability to take care of her requests. Shortly after arriving at the hospital, Karen requested her pillow be rearranged and tucked under her shoulders. I proceeded to try to accomadate her request and she said, no...Bruce. A day or two later, Eric said....I use to fluff her pillow just right, but now it’s Bruce this, Bruce that....no, Bruce!
She had a hard night, having diarrhea throughout and the nurses coming in and out of the room. One particular time she called for me, she said, “I don’t want to do this anymore...I just wish I could have a quick heart attack.’ I told her I wished that for her too. She was completely miserable and I can only imagine that each minute must have seemed like an hour. I prayed throughout the night that she could just be taken. There was not much sleep that night, especially by Karen. The next morning, in the light of the day, she looked progressively worse. Her face and eyes were more swollen and I marveled at how much she could endure. I mentioned to her that she was pretty incredible and she said...what choice do I have? I told her that she could be a crabby about it all.
That day was Sunday, June 4th. An incredible day of highs and lows. Early on in the morning, a girl and guy had dropped by, asking if they could send two Elders to administer the sacrament. We said that would be great and Eric had mentioned that he hadn’t been able to take the sacrament for quite a while, due to Karen and his flying schedule.
The Fungus doctor came by and told Karen that he wanted to go in to her sinuses again that day. Things looked good, but he was unable to determine if things had spread, or been completely contained without going in. She and Eric had talked that morning and decided that they were not going to go to any more extraordinary efforts to save her life. She expressed to the doctor that very thing. That she felt like it was her time and they had too many ways to keep her alive. She wanted them to help her go as gracefully as possible. It was decided that the team of doctors would be brought together to discuss that from all angles, but meanwhile, they were to continue to consider going in again to the sinuses that day. If all was well, it would be a short operation and if she needed further scraping of the fungus, it would be 30 minutes to an hour.
Blake had been brought up to the hospital and Brigg had gone to church with Mark’s kids. Two Elders of the ward came to the room to administer the sacrament. Present were Karen, Eric, Blake, Mark and I. We proceeded to have one of those special moments in your life when you know the Lord is near and his angels are administering to you. It was one of the most powerful, poignant moments I’ve experienced. It was determined before we began that the Sacrament could only be touched to Karen’s lips. The blessing on the bread began and the words were unlike I have ever heard them. O God the Eternal Father...it was as though the heavens had opened and the Lord himself had sent heavenly messengers, to comfort and administer to us. To make us aware that he was aware of Karen and our sorrow. It was as though the highest of highs conferged with the lowest of lows. The words were spoken and they were crisp, clean, clear and powerful. Tears could not be contained and we all felt and expressed how blessed were to be present. We walked the two visitors out of the room and Blake sat in the hall quietly crying. They were so sweet and expressed their sorrow to Blake and the rest of us how sorry they were. The one really reached out to Blake and tried to express his emotions in behalf of Blake.
Eric and Karen wanted Brigg to also come to the hospital, so Mark left to bring him from the church. You could hear Brigg’s distress and tears as he came down the hall. He rushed in to Karen’s room and sobbing said, Mom...are you going to die? You can’t die. Who is going to take care of me? Karen said, Brigg, you and Blake have each other. He said, but I don’t think I can live without you. She said, Brigg, the Lord has prepared you for this and you have your dad and you have Tom and Diane, Jordan...
He kept saying, I can’t go on without you. Mark and I could see that we needed to leave the room so they could talk about it as a family. Eric said that Brigg further expressed things like .... Who is going to help me with my insulin? Karen was as the wise soul comforting and counseling her children that they could continue their lives as she would support them from the other side.
She had a surgery to remove the fungus and a couple of days later the doctor telling us that it appeared that it had been arrested, but again, he was only qualified to treat it moving forward, and the possibility it could go backward to the brain and that would be treated by another specialist. It was decided to have the surgery to see approximately where things stood. The outcome was that things looked good as far as not spreading further, but the pituitary had been damaged and she would have to be on hormone drugs the rest of her life.
Mark and I had decided earlier in the day that it would be a good idea for all the family to come together for a family prayer. All the adults were involved on both sides of the family and Eric’s dad anointed her and dad gave her a blessing. There were a lot of tears and a certain feeling of we are really nearing the end. We had discussions throughout the day about how optimistic we should be and vs. realistic. There were emotions all across the board, especially in light of things getting bleaker daily. Even the doctor reports throughout the day would put you on an emotional roller coaster. Everyone would have different views of what the meaning of it was....so to speak. One would walk away reporting how hopeful the doctor was, and the next person, reporting that it didn’t look so good! What a ride! I caught a glimpse of what it had been like all along for those at the hospital.
We all went to Mark’s for a family dinner, although Bruce stayed with Karen. He was not to hardly leave Karen alone that whole Memorial weekend and for the following weeks, would do about a 12 hour nighttime shift. As things were winding down after dinner, I told Mark that we needed to go back to the hospital. He was hesitant, as we all were so tired. It had been such an emotional day, Karen had obviously looked worse and I just wanted to go be with her and tuck her in for the night. Surprisingly to us both, Karen was much more talkative. From the time I saw, it was hard for her to talk, just from a pure energy level and she answered questions, but did not offer many comments on her own. I told her that I would have to pluck her wild hairs and maybe I’d do that in the morning. She asked why not now?! I had wanted to, but didn’t want to press the issue if it was too much. So, I got her cleaned up and Mark and I both were invigorated by the opportunity to see her a bit more chipper and wanting to communicate.
From before the time I even arrived in Utah, the thoughts kept going through my mind about how I was even going to be able to leave her. To walk away and not know if I was even going to see her again, really tore my heart out. I had a 10 day trip to Washington DC, Baltimore and Hartford. Oh, how I wished I could just stay there and help ease her burdens! I had mentioned this to Karen about how I didn’t know how I was going to leave her and she said....life has to go on. Thanks goodness I had a Southwest refundable ticket and could change it as many times as I needed. I had just decided that I would just stay there and not worry about it and I would know when the time was that I could leave. It’s happened to me before and I just had to trust that it would happen again. I decided that I just had to have in my mind that I was coming back and she would be there. That was the only way I could handle the thought and I told her that I had already had a trip scheduled to Salt Lake for a convention in 3 weeks and I would see her then. I even mentioned that to Brigg and he said that brought him a lot of comfort!
On Monday, I spent the whole day at the hospital...Bruce and I mostly. It was a much better day for Karen. We walked her several times and she sat up on the potty chair several times and was able to talk more. At one point, she looked at me, and although she couldn’t see me, she knew I was there. She didn’t speak for a minute and then asked...how am I going to take care of myself if I’m blind? We talked about it and Bruce came into the conversation. We assured her that everything would be done to make sure she had help. Mark and Gary had said that they would pay for an assistant to help her. The very thought was daunting for us all...not to mention the thoughts that Karen was having for herself. What a hard deal that would have been. Karen has always known that I would take care of her kids should anything happen to her, so that was already a given. But we did talk about the arrangements of the boys having a room at my house and staying with us when Eric was flying. I had mentioned to her that I would not be their mom, but would be Aunt Diane and she said she didn’t care if they did refer to me as mom.
When I think of Karen not being here and still, it’s so surreal that she’s not, I envision her at the hospital walking down the hall. What a hard thing that was for her and how pathetic she looked. It made me wish for her that she was out of her complete misery. We encouraged her, but in reality, for me, it all seemed so hollow. With her swelling, her blindness and staring forward into nothing, her bulging, ointment filled eyes, the high ponytail, her determination to do what everyone wanted her to do and her determination to go farther each day. It is a vision that makes me happy for her that she is out of her misery.
I was able to visit with Jim and Desi Taylor late that evening. Bishop Clarke had encouraged the ward to fast for Karen on Sunday. I had spoken to him and told him to not fast for Karen to get better, but that the Lord’s will be done and she would be comforted. The Taylor’s had been so close to Karen and Jim was really giving her the pep talk. We were all really touched that the Taylor’s would make that herculeon effort to support Karen, but Jim and Karen had always had that connection through his trials with Valley Fever and hers with the diabetes. I was able to visit them again much later in the evening when they came by again. Bruce and I sat in the hallway while they visited, because I wanted them to have that time alone with Karen since they had made such a sacrifice for her.
I was working towards being able to tell her goodbye. I could tell that the only way I could do that was to tell her I had a flight booked back to Salt Lake in 3 weeks and I would see her then. I did say, get better...and she just paused and said...well. I knew she wasn’t but that was just the thing that came out. Eric mentioned that I might want to come by the hospital the next day and say goodbye, but I knew that would just make it harder to leave and the tears would come.
I left for Washington DC that Thursday and felt really removed from it all. I almost didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone, thinking each time it rang, it was going to be ‘the call’. I had to brave it up, but I really hoped that she would not go when I was gone. But on the other hand, I didn’t want her to keep suffering. Right off when I got there, the report came that they had found a spot in her brain and the fungus was spreading. They had talked about putting her in hospice care at a place south of Salt Lake. But they asked if she could just stay at the LDS Hospital in hospice care there. They took the drips off and made her as comfortable as possible. Throughout the next ten days, I would get the report that she only had 3 days, or 24 hours, or 48 hours, but she kept rallying.
I made it through the IFE and drove to Baltimore for two days before Tom and I went up to the IBBA. I had the time to really put some thought and time into writing Karen’s life sketch and obituary. We drove up to Hartford and I just wished that the next three days would be over so I could go to Salt Lake. I really started feeling an urgency and knowing the trip was nearing it’s end, it intensified. I talked to mom and dad Saturday morning and mom was really wanting me to be there. I tried to get my flight changed to fly directly to Salt Lake, but the cost was about 450.00. We flew home that night with the thought that I would fly to Salt Lake that next morning.
I made the 10am flight and Mark picked me up with Blake and Brigg driving with them. I was more than anxious to get right to the hospital and that is certainly what I thought was happening. He drove past the streets that turned to the hospital and when I asked why...he said Kimi had lunch ready and we were all eating first. I asked who was at the hospital and he said nobody. I was pretty confused but went along with it. We got my bags unpacked and had a minute breather and Mark got a call for me to come up. If that call wouldn’t have come, it would have not been another minute before I would have requested to be taken up to the hospital. The urgency was definitely there...after all, there was no other reason I had made that trip!
When I arrived, I walked in and Eric, mom, and the nurse all expressed that they felt that Karen was waiting for me. I had felt the day before when talking to Elaine Pendarvis that Karen was going to wait for me. I sat on the window side of her bed and mom was on the other. I held her hand. She really looked beautiful. Her swelling had gone down and her eyes looked light years better. Although she still couldn’t close them completely. Her skin looked good and she had lost that puffy look. She was not coherent and her breathing was as though she was just sleeping and snoring.
I was referring to the hospice’s book and reading the signs of pending death. I told Mom that it said that they last sense to go was hearing. I told her that and she said....what? I had a good laugh over that!
Mom had said to Karen...Karen, Diane is here and you can go now. The nurse had come in to check her and remarked about Karen’s change in her breathing. Things had definitely changed since she had checked her last. She brought some meds in and put them in her port. That definitely changed her course and she died within the hour."
To this date, this is all that I wrote, but I will pervail and finish my writing...
Funeral Closing Prayer: David Savage
Dear Father in Heaven, . . . . We are so grateful to have been here to celebrate the life of Karen, sister, companion and friend. We’re grateful, Father, for the spirit that has been here with us and we are very grateful for Karen’s life, her example, her faithfulness to the Gospel, for her love of Thee and Thy son. Father, may her influence be felt in the lives of her sons, Blake and Brig. As they think about their mother, may they have peace and comfort throughout their lives and remember her example, that it may be passed down to their children. Father, we also take comfort with the assurance of the great Plan of Salvation and know that we will be together again through eternity. Father, we now ask for they dismissal. We ask for Thy blessings to be upon us. We ask for Thy protective hand to be over us as we travel near and far. We ask and pray for this blessing, in the name of Thy son, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Funeral Remarks: E.T. Clark, Bishop
As many of you know, I am the Savage’s Bishop. I want to convey to you the sense of love and appreciation from the Ward members down in Arizona to the Savage Family. We announced in our Sacrament Meeting about 3½ weeks ago that Karen was in a situation that was very grave. We asked the members to fast and pray for her. I can report that there has not been a Church meeting that I have attended in that period in which we not specifically asked the Lord for His blessings to be on the Savage Family, Blake, Brig and Eric. It is interesting that those prayers have changed a bit. We realized what was happening here in Salt Lake. At first it was pleading for Karen’s life and that she would be accepting of the Lord’s will. The words were that “Thy will be done” and the great blessings to us as we recognized that, accepted and have come to understand.
As I thought about Karen’s life, I just want to share with you two thoughts that have come to mind. Karen underwent a life-long physical challenges that refined her and prepared her to return to her Heavenly Father. There are a lot of scriptures that talk about the refining process. One is in John 15:2. It is very brief. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
That is one of the great callings and challenges we have, is to bear those challenges well as Karen has done.
Another thought that came to be as I was thinking about Karen is the great love she and Eric have for each other. I have a picture of them as I sit up on the stand on Sunday. They sit on the very back row of the chapel in the middle section, with her head on Eric’s shoulder, just like Brig’s is right now. I think that was sign of the great love they had for each other and also a sign of Karen being truly tired and worn out many, many times. She never complained. She always attended her church meetings and did the best she could. She was called to serve with my wife as Activity Day Leader and that was a big challenge for her. She worried about that calling. I know the feeling was that she would make a great difference just by her example in the lives of those young women in our ward. She did that marvelously. My wife, who worked with her, said to me that Karen would be in the kitchen, back yard or the church building where they would have Activity Day and one of the girls would show up and cough and sneeze. Karen would quietly withdraw, frequently she would wash her hands, but never complained. She was always there and did what she was asked to do. That, brothers and sisters, is one of the great legacies of Karen’s life to each one of us.
I want to share a brief scripture with you. It is found in Revelation 14:12-13. The Book of Revelation is not an easy book to understand. The last sentence of the chapter heading says, “The Son of Man harvests the earth.” That is the theme of this chapter. This is part of the revelation that John received.
Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
Karen’s greatest work is the work she did in her home. She was not supposed to have children. She did. She was not necessarily obedient in that regard, but she was a great Mom, a master of great work. That is her children’s light to carry on her great work as the Lord spoke in Revelation.
I am grateful to have known Karen. I am a better person because of it. I am more compassionate. I am more brave and I believe I am more patient because of her example. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
As I thought about Karen’s life, I just want to share with you two thoughts that have come to mind. Karen underwent a life-long physical challenges that refined her and prepared her to return to her Heavenly Father. There are a lot of scriptures that talk about the refining process. One is in John 15:2. It is very brief. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
That is one of the great callings and challenges we have, is to bear those challenges well as Karen has done.
Another thought that came to be as I was thinking about Karen is the great love she and Eric have for each other. I have a picture of them as I sit up on the stand on Sunday. They sit on the very back row of the chapel in the middle section, with her head on Eric’s shoulder, just like Brig’s is right now. I think that was sign of the great love they had for each other and also a sign of Karen being truly tired and worn out many, many times. She never complained. She always attended her church meetings and did the best she could. She was called to serve with my wife as Activity Day Leader and that was a big challenge for her. She worried about that calling. I know the feeling was that she would make a great difference just by her example in the lives of those young women in our ward. She did that marvelously. My wife, who worked with her, said to me that Karen would be in the kitchen, back yard or the church building where they would have Activity Day and one of the girls would show up and cough and sneeze. Karen would quietly withdraw, frequently she would wash her hands, but never complained. She was always there and did what she was asked to do. That, brothers and sisters, is one of the great legacies of Karen’s life to each one of us.
I want to share a brief scripture with you. It is found in Revelation 14:12-13. The Book of Revelation is not an easy book to understand. The last sentence of the chapter heading says, “The Son of Man harvests the earth.” That is the theme of this chapter. This is part of the revelation that John received.
Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
Karen’s greatest work is the work she did in her home. She was not supposed to have children. She did. She was not necessarily obedient in that regard, but she was a great Mom, a master of great work. That is her children’s light to carry on her great work as the Lord spoke in Revelation.
I am grateful to have known Karen. I am a better person because of it. I am more compassionate. I am more brave and I believe I am more patient because of her example. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Funeral Remarks: Richard Finlinson, Father
I thought what I would do is focus upon Karen’s example, which she received from her mother and father, mainly her mother, in teaching her the Gospel. When LaVon and I got married, our main objective was to have a family. We wanted to have them fairly quick because we didn’t want to be old people when they grew up. We wanted to have time. We still grew old.
I want to mention in Malachi, he predicted that Elijah the prophet would come and turn the hearts of the fathers to their children - think about this - and then the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest a curse would come upon the earth and that would he a problem. What he was talking about was that Elijah would come to restore the keys of sealing in the temple of the Lord where you would be sealed for time and all eternity.
LaVon and I never thought of being married anywhere else but the temple following the pattern of my mother and father, my grandfathers and grandmothers, LaVon’s mother and father, and her grandfathers and grandmothers who were strong individuals. They were some of the strongest individuals to grace the earth. They knew the Gospel Plan. They knew what the prophets were talking about concerning the pre-mortal existence and these things were taught indelibly on our children’s minds because LaVon never left the house, except to do Church work, Primary work or whatever she was assigned to do. Her main thing was to focus upon those children from the time they came at birth. I have to say that we are proud of our children. We have seven of them. They are all still faithful in the Gospel, love the Gospel and they are all Republicans, so what more could you ask?
We pray about our grandchildren, focus upon their lives and pray that they will follow our example, the example of their parents and the example of Karen. Karen prayed for a spouse. We had her in a guest area in our home and she was having a very difficult time. She had a neuropathy that was affecting her stomach. She couldn’t take anything down without a problem and she was down to 98 pounds or less - maybe 89. She was very thin and everyone thought she would not live. We had people in our ward who later said, “People say there are no miracles now days, but we say there is a miracle. It is Karen Finlinson.” I think at that time, I was probably the only person who knew she was going to live. I don’t think LaVon thought she would live. The reason I did was because the Lord revealed it to me. I kept working and working, seeking and seeking for things I could do for her. It was a blender. I would feed her out of a blender, sneaking things in that she did not know were in there. As soon as we got on to the idea that we had to do, she started gaining weight and came back with a vengeance. We were blessed.
I think of Karen when I read the 8th chapter of Proverbs 22-23: The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.
Even before the earth was, we were with our Father in Heaven in a family in the pre-mortal existence. It goes on and tells when there were no depths brought forth and continues to talk about before the 25-31. . . “hills was I brought forth: While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world. When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth: When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep: When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth: Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him; Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.
I think of Karen rejoicing daily before our Father in Heaven. She rejoiced daily before us. She came into the world on her tip toes. She was dancing around like Diane referenced and she made everybody happy. I remember she went on a field trip with her Kindergarten to the Phoenix Zoo. When she came back, I put her on my lap in the office. She didn’t know that I had a tape recorder on and interviewed her about her trip to the Zoo. We had so much fun and she giggled, laughed, jumped and had such a good time during that interview. I would say, “What did you see?” “Oh, we saw some monkeys.” “What did they do?” “(Sound and example.)” “Are you a monkey?” “Oh no!” She just giggled and had a good time. That showed how bubbly she was in her youth.
I am talking to mainly our grandchildren and others who are here who are starting to mold their lives, looking to what the future might be. Take someone out. If it can’t be your parents then find someone else and model for them. Karen was a model. She prayed to find her husband. She got one out of the sky. (Laughter) . . . come by and pick up Karen with all her baggage and . . . . It happens! It’s a miracle. Eric came all the way from Little Rock to propose to Karen. He did it on a train in a park down in the center of Mesa, kind of a romantic thing to hang on that old train. They came home and LaVon and I were in the office quite late at night. She opened up the door and she said, “We’re going to be married.” We were thrilled to death and called all of our kids that night. Some of them had to wake up to tell them that Karen and Eric were going to be married. From that time on, we tried to help Karen get her things in order. Remember, she was on dialyses three times a week and we took her out and brought her back. She said, “I come out of dialyses and I feel like crap for two days, start feeling good and then I have to go back and it hits me.” She didn’t like it at all. Eric didn’t like it. I think it was a thing of joy when David finally came down with a beautiful kidney to give her.
I don’t have time to go over all the wonderful things that have come to be in attending to Karen in her life. LaVon did all she could, but she was beset with arthritis when she was 30 years old. She was struggling with her own situation and it was deteriorating. She was having problems. Someone could walk next to Karen and her problems and the things we were helping her through.
I wanted to tell you a couple of things. I have always been restored by the light. I am a believer in letting your heart be drawn out to your Father in Heaven. You don’t just say prayers kneeling down. It is not a position of the body. It is talking to your Father in Heaven. You can do it any time and under any condition. You say, “Father, this is what I want to talk to you about.” Talk to Him just like you would talk to your own father. Often, you will have answers before you have finished your prayer and some of them will be so solid and a bit scary as to whether you even want to push that far or not, but you will be able to be blessed immediately on petitioning your Father in Heaven for many things. I made it a habit while I was attending Karen and evening came . . . .help her with prayer and so forth. I always gave her a blessing. Some people say, “Oh, you don’t give priesthood blessings. You give one for one illness and so on.” I said, “You give priesthood blessings every time you are impressed to do it.” It can be every day if it is needed or twice a day. I feel like He will sustain our blessings and on her faith and save her in the Plan of Salvation. She had a very strong faith wrought out of her challenges and the things she had been taught.
She comes from a royal lineage, even if you wanted to talk about the people in early pioneer days. We talk about Edward Partridge, Lydia Partridge, John Smith and by the way my fellow Patriarch from Mesa Central Stake is here. He is my cousin Smith. He goes back through Silas and I go back through John, who were brothers. We talk about Amasa Lyman and the wonderful things he was able to do and how faithful her was in the Church. The crowning blessing was that we went back to Little Rock, Arkansas and started fishing around in the genealogy and saw Thomas Callister. That is my great grandfather. He comes through Thomas Callister and I come through the Smith line. He had more than one wife. I come through the Smith line and Eric comes through the Helen R. Clark line. We have a real interesting thing about that. When Tom Callister married Caroline Smith, who was my great grandmother, she had been hit by lightning in her youth and was crippled. She did all the sewing, skinning, mending of clothes and was an expert in all those things. John Smith who was my great, great grandfather came to Thomas Callister and said, “Now Brother Callister, when you marry your next wife, you need to marry someone who is strong and can do the heavy work.” In a very short time, he married Helen R. Clark and she proved herself to be strong as she had twelve children. She literally did. I have letters from my grandmother telling about Helen R. Clark and how hard she worked and what she did to help the family. We are related and come through this wonderful line.
I wanted to mention to you that when Eric and Karen announced their marriage, I immediately kicked into gear to try to help Karen clean out her room, get rid of some magazines and do whatever she wanted to do, get her laundry ready. I am a journal keeper and went back to read what happened every day to our family. Some of them I don’t want to read. I wanted to make reference here. I was in the laundry room doing some of Karen’s laundry, getting ready to fold it up. I was folding laundry while looking out the window and thinking. I wrote, “I was folding clothes in the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home.” Sometimes before I give a Patriarchal Blessing, I just lay back in a chair and think of the person and start giving them a blessing. Sometimes, the things I do are impressed on my mind and they come out in blessings, sometimes given and sometimes not. I had that practice of doing that sometimes when I give a blessing.
I was in “the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home. I thought, I bless you, Karen, (and it came to my mind) and reassure you that your calling and election is made sure. This is very strong, but the same reassuring spirit came upon me. I could hardly contain my emotions for a while. Dr. Woolf, who is the doctor who restored her eyesight, came by to pick up something from Karen and I accompanied him to his car and the same reassurance came to me by a familiar electrical feeling down my spine. I wept some and prayed to the Lord if I should divulge this.”
I have not divulged this to almost anyone, but feel it is appropriate today. You can go home and cross reference your scriptures and say the Lord is not going to give someone a blessing like that just in a moment.
“I do not know if it will be given to Karen in a blessing or if it was just for my edification as her father. I will await the feelings that will come to me. Karen has endured her afflictions with patience. The Lord says, ‘Ye shall be exalted’ if you endure your afflictions with patience.”
I put a little star here and was thinking back on something that happened to me two or three weeks previous. On February 25th at Richard Williams farewell. I had an experience I had to write down. “As the meeting began, Gary brought Karen in and sat her down on the front row by me.” At the time, Karen was completely blind. Her hemorrhaging in her eyes had caused the sockets to fill up with blood, which were drained and then . . . .put in and she could see. That is not unusual, particularly when you are on dialysis. I had a special feeling as I sat through the meeting. “Much flooded into my mind concerning all Karen had co gracefully endured in her years. The closing song was sung.” I cannot remember the name of the song. It is one we called committee songs that were new and we didn’t think it was very nice that I couldn’t remember it. “I was impressed by the spirit that we had been attending a royal person through her sojourn upon the earth.” This was really something to me. “I was again overcome by the spirit that confirmed this.” Whenever I have something come to me from the Lord, I ask for a confirmation because sometimes it can play games with me, but if I get a confirmation then I’m okay. The confirmation came and the impression was that I was placed in close proximity to Karen to attend her. I have the same feeling about my wife. I even hesitate to write such impressions for they are to tender and private. I wanted to share this with you as one of the many things that had come to me.
I want to say one more thing. I know we are going over in time. I was out walking one day - I walk 45 minutes to an hour, three times each week - and Mark called on the cell phone. He was telling me distraught he was that Karen had gone through a 12-13 hour operation and she looked really bad. He didn’t tell me that day, but later told me he didn’t think she would make it. I was pondering on Karen’s situation as I went down the canal bank, came up by a little sunken park by Harris Street, came around to Smith’s street and turned the corner. As I turned the corner I had an overbearing feeling that lasted a good minute or two confirming to me that the Lord was hearing our petitions. We all had been praying fervently and pleading with the Lord about Karen. He reassured me that He was hearing our pleading. He didn’t give me any end to it, like Karen is going to be able to come through it. I was stopped short. I stood - whatever Thy will is, we will adhere to it and take it as well as we can. We were not imposing upon Him, or whining to Him for something that was not in the picture. I was satisfied at that time, that we just push forward and do all we can, that the Lord would have it come out according to His outcome.
LaVon and I came up early. We were trying to come for Memorial Day, but we got a call from Eric and he said, “Karen has had internal bleeding problems and they have got to go back in and take care of that.” He was in a dilemma. He was ready to fly. He had not been flying. He had been up there taking care of the situation with Karen. We called him back and said “Mother and I will pack up and come to Salt Lake. Don’t worry about it.” I came up. Mark was relieved. I think he had been doing all he could to help her. I started staying at the hospital anywhere from 8-10 hours per day. I gave Karen a number of blessings. Toward the end, one of the blessings I gave her - I had not thought about it or pre-thought about it, but it just came out - she would be blessed with a clear perception of everything that happened to her to the end. To see her in the condition she was in . . . . Actually, the doctors and nurses were amazed at how clear Karen stayed right to the end, in her mind, and was able to communicate with them except for just a day or two. That was a great blessing to her. Then, she came back from a walk down the hall and said, “Dad, everything was gray. I couldn’t see anything. There was a gray cast on everything.” The next day, she came back and said, “I couldn’t even see the lights in the hall.” I said, “Well Karen, I’ll give you a blessing and the Lord will take care of it.” We didn’t know what was happening. Finally, we got an ophthalmologist in and said, “There is no internal bleeding in the eye socket or anything like that.” What it was, was a devastating situation that affected her optic nerve and she lost her sight. She never really complained about that. She accepted it.
One day she said, “Dad, if I could go to the other side today, I would be most happy.” She kept repeating that she felt it was her time and she would be happy to go. She was not happy to leave her children, husband and all of this, but she knew it was inevitable that she would pass through the veil at this time. It has been a great comfort to me to have been close to her and be able to rub her feet, hands, neck and back, whatever I could do to help her. We have had such tremendous response from the family. I cannot tell you the sacrifices Mark and Kim have made. Bruce became known as ‘Nurse Bruce.’ I don’t know if I could count, but I am sure he was there 10 nights in a row with no respite. He just came every night. He prayed that he could do that and again came. Everyone in our family has been so tremendous. I don’t know how to thank all of them for what they have done.
I want to leave Karen’s life and study it. Study it! Pattern your life after it. When you are sealed in the temple when you are married, all of us have been sealed, that is the protection in this life from the wiles of Satan. Keep your covenants. We are a covenant people. We are through Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and through Joseph that was sold into Egypt, through Ephraim that has the responsibility now of teaching the children of the Lord the Gospel here upon the earth. Live the commandments accurately. You cannot compromise the commandments. The Lord knows what is best for you and what will bring you happiness and joy in your life. If you don’t live them, you will suffer the consequences. We have the promise to us that if we keep our covenants, all our children will eventually come to us, but if they don’t live properly, they will have to go through a state of repentance, placing themselves back in a position where they will be given happiness. We are praying that they will all stay true. The Lord has prepared blessings for us. They are there awaiting us and we just need to follow Karen’s life, my wife’s life, Eric’s life, and pick out whoever you want to add to them as they are all wonderful people, and you will be blessed greatly.
I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I want to mention in Malachi, he predicted that Elijah the prophet would come and turn the hearts of the fathers to their children - think about this - and then the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest a curse would come upon the earth and that would he a problem. What he was talking about was that Elijah would come to restore the keys of sealing in the temple of the Lord where you would be sealed for time and all eternity.
LaVon and I never thought of being married anywhere else but the temple following the pattern of my mother and father, my grandfathers and grandmothers, LaVon’s mother and father, and her grandfathers and grandmothers who were strong individuals. They were some of the strongest individuals to grace the earth. They knew the Gospel Plan. They knew what the prophets were talking about concerning the pre-mortal existence and these things were taught indelibly on our children’s minds because LaVon never left the house, except to do Church work, Primary work or whatever she was assigned to do. Her main thing was to focus upon those children from the time they came at birth. I have to say that we are proud of our children. We have seven of them. They are all still faithful in the Gospel, love the Gospel and they are all Republicans, so what more could you ask?
We pray about our grandchildren, focus upon their lives and pray that they will follow our example, the example of their parents and the example of Karen. Karen prayed for a spouse. We had her in a guest area in our home and she was having a very difficult time. She had a neuropathy that was affecting her stomach. She couldn’t take anything down without a problem and she was down to 98 pounds or less - maybe 89. She was very thin and everyone thought she would not live. We had people in our ward who later said, “People say there are no miracles now days, but we say there is a miracle. It is Karen Finlinson.” I think at that time, I was probably the only person who knew she was going to live. I don’t think LaVon thought she would live. The reason I did was because the Lord revealed it to me. I kept working and working, seeking and seeking for things I could do for her. It was a blender. I would feed her out of a blender, sneaking things in that she did not know were in there. As soon as we got on to the idea that we had to do, she started gaining weight and came back with a vengeance. We were blessed.
I think of Karen when I read the 8th chapter of Proverbs 22-23: The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.
Even before the earth was, we were with our Father in Heaven in a family in the pre-mortal existence. It goes on and tells when there were no depths brought forth and continues to talk about before the 25-31. . . “hills was I brought forth: While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world. When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth: When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep: When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth: Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him; Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.
I think of Karen rejoicing daily before our Father in Heaven. She rejoiced daily before us. She came into the world on her tip toes. She was dancing around like Diane referenced and she made everybody happy. I remember she went on a field trip with her Kindergarten to the Phoenix Zoo. When she came back, I put her on my lap in the office. She didn’t know that I had a tape recorder on and interviewed her about her trip to the Zoo. We had so much fun and she giggled, laughed, jumped and had such a good time during that interview. I would say, “What did you see?” “Oh, we saw some monkeys.” “What did they do?” “(Sound and example.)” “Are you a monkey?” “Oh no!” She just giggled and had a good time. That showed how bubbly she was in her youth.
I am talking to mainly our grandchildren and others who are here who are starting to mold their lives, looking to what the future might be. Take someone out. If it can’t be your parents then find someone else and model for them. Karen was a model. She prayed to find her husband. She got one out of the sky. (Laughter) . . . come by and pick up Karen with all her baggage and . . . . It happens! It’s a miracle. Eric came all the way from Little Rock to propose to Karen. He did it on a train in a park down in the center of Mesa, kind of a romantic thing to hang on that old train. They came home and LaVon and I were in the office quite late at night. She opened up the door and she said, “We’re going to be married.” We were thrilled to death and called all of our kids that night. Some of them had to wake up to tell them that Karen and Eric were going to be married. From that time on, we tried to help Karen get her things in order. Remember, she was on dialyses three times a week and we took her out and brought her back. She said, “I come out of dialyses and I feel like crap for two days, start feeling good and then I have to go back and it hits me.” She didn’t like it at all. Eric didn’t like it. I think it was a thing of joy when David finally came down with a beautiful kidney to give her.
I don’t have time to go over all the wonderful things that have come to be in attending to Karen in her life. LaVon did all she could, but she was beset with arthritis when she was 30 years old. She was struggling with her own situation and it was deteriorating. She was having problems. Someone could walk next to Karen and her problems and the things we were helping her through.
I wanted to tell you a couple of things. I have always been restored by the light. I am a believer in letting your heart be drawn out to your Father in Heaven. You don’t just say prayers kneeling down. It is not a position of the body. It is talking to your Father in Heaven. You can do it any time and under any condition. You say, “Father, this is what I want to talk to you about.” Talk to Him just like you would talk to your own father. Often, you will have answers before you have finished your prayer and some of them will be so solid and a bit scary as to whether you even want to push that far or not, but you will be able to be blessed immediately on petitioning your Father in Heaven for many things. I made it a habit while I was attending Karen and evening came . . . .help her with prayer and so forth. I always gave her a blessing. Some people say, “Oh, you don’t give priesthood blessings. You give one for one illness and so on.” I said, “You give priesthood blessings every time you are impressed to do it.” It can be every day if it is needed or twice a day. I feel like He will sustain our blessings and on her faith and save her in the Plan of Salvation. She had a very strong faith wrought out of her challenges and the things she had been taught.
She comes from a royal lineage, even if you wanted to talk about the people in early pioneer days. We talk about Edward Partridge, Lydia Partridge, John Smith and by the way my fellow Patriarch from Mesa Central Stake is here. He is my cousin Smith. He goes back through Silas and I go back through John, who were brothers. We talk about Amasa Lyman and the wonderful things he was able to do and how faithful her was in the Church. The crowning blessing was that we went back to Little Rock, Arkansas and started fishing around in the genealogy and saw Thomas Callister. That is my great grandfather. He comes through Thomas Callister and I come through the Smith line. He had more than one wife. I come through the Smith line and Eric comes through the Helen R. Clark line. We have a real interesting thing about that. When Tom Callister married Caroline Smith, who was my great grandmother, she had been hit by lightning in her youth and was crippled. She did all the sewing, skinning, mending of clothes and was an expert in all those things. John Smith who was my great, great grandfather came to Thomas Callister and said, “Now Brother Callister, when you marry your next wife, you need to marry someone who is strong and can do the heavy work.” In a very short time, he married Helen R. Clark and she proved herself to be strong as she had twelve children. She literally did. I have letters from my grandmother telling about Helen R. Clark and how hard she worked and what she did to help the family. We are related and come through this wonderful line.
I wanted to mention to you that when Eric and Karen announced their marriage, I immediately kicked into gear to try to help Karen clean out her room, get rid of some magazines and do whatever she wanted to do, get her laundry ready. I am a journal keeper and went back to read what happened every day to our family. Some of them I don’t want to read. I wanted to make reference here. I was in the laundry room doing some of Karen’s laundry, getting ready to fold it up. I was folding laundry while looking out the window and thinking. I wrote, “I was folding clothes in the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home.” Sometimes before I give a Patriarchal Blessing, I just lay back in a chair and think of the person and start giving them a blessing. Sometimes, the things I do are impressed on my mind and they come out in blessings, sometimes given and sometimes not. I had that practice of doing that sometimes when I give a blessing.
I was in “the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home. I thought, I bless you, Karen, (and it came to my mind) and reassure you that your calling and election is made sure. This is very strong, but the same reassuring spirit came upon me. I could hardly contain my emotions for a while. Dr. Woolf, who is the doctor who restored her eyesight, came by to pick up something from Karen and I accompanied him to his car and the same reassurance came to me by a familiar electrical feeling down my spine. I wept some and prayed to the Lord if I should divulge this.”
I have not divulged this to almost anyone, but feel it is appropriate today. You can go home and cross reference your scriptures and say the Lord is not going to give someone a blessing like that just in a moment.
“I do not know if it will be given to Karen in a blessing or if it was just for my edification as her father. I will await the feelings that will come to me. Karen has endured her afflictions with patience. The Lord says, ‘Ye shall be exalted’ if you endure your afflictions with patience.”
I put a little star here and was thinking back on something that happened to me two or three weeks previous. On February 25th at Richard Williams farewell. I had an experience I had to write down. “As the meeting began, Gary brought Karen in and sat her down on the front row by me.” At the time, Karen was completely blind. Her hemorrhaging in her eyes had caused the sockets to fill up with blood, which were drained and then . . . .put in and she could see. That is not unusual, particularly when you are on dialysis. I had a special feeling as I sat through the meeting. “Much flooded into my mind concerning all Karen had co gracefully endured in her years. The closing song was sung.” I cannot remember the name of the song. It is one we called committee songs that were new and we didn’t think it was very nice that I couldn’t remember it. “I was impressed by the spirit that we had been attending a royal person through her sojourn upon the earth.” This was really something to me. “I was again overcome by the spirit that confirmed this.” Whenever I have something come to me from the Lord, I ask for a confirmation because sometimes it can play games with me, but if I get a confirmation then I’m okay. The confirmation came and the impression was that I was placed in close proximity to Karen to attend her. I have the same feeling about my wife. I even hesitate to write such impressions for they are to tender and private. I wanted to share this with you as one of the many things that had come to me.
I want to say one more thing. I know we are going over in time. I was out walking one day - I walk 45 minutes to an hour, three times each week - and Mark called on the cell phone. He was telling me distraught he was that Karen had gone through a 12-13 hour operation and she looked really bad. He didn’t tell me that day, but later told me he didn’t think she would make it. I was pondering on Karen’s situation as I went down the canal bank, came up by a little sunken park by Harris Street, came around to Smith’s street and turned the corner. As I turned the corner I had an overbearing feeling that lasted a good minute or two confirming to me that the Lord was hearing our petitions. We all had been praying fervently and pleading with the Lord about Karen. He reassured me that He was hearing our pleading. He didn’t give me any end to it, like Karen is going to be able to come through it. I was stopped short. I stood - whatever Thy will is, we will adhere to it and take it as well as we can. We were not imposing upon Him, or whining to Him for something that was not in the picture. I was satisfied at that time, that we just push forward and do all we can, that the Lord would have it come out according to His outcome.
LaVon and I came up early. We were trying to come for Memorial Day, but we got a call from Eric and he said, “Karen has had internal bleeding problems and they have got to go back in and take care of that.” He was in a dilemma. He was ready to fly. He had not been flying. He had been up there taking care of the situation with Karen. We called him back and said “Mother and I will pack up and come to Salt Lake. Don’t worry about it.” I came up. Mark was relieved. I think he had been doing all he could to help her. I started staying at the hospital anywhere from 8-10 hours per day. I gave Karen a number of blessings. Toward the end, one of the blessings I gave her - I had not thought about it or pre-thought about it, but it just came out - she would be blessed with a clear perception of everything that happened to her to the end. To see her in the condition she was in . . . . Actually, the doctors and nurses were amazed at how clear Karen stayed right to the end, in her mind, and was able to communicate with them except for just a day or two. That was a great blessing to her. Then, she came back from a walk down the hall and said, “Dad, everything was gray. I couldn’t see anything. There was a gray cast on everything.” The next day, she came back and said, “I couldn’t even see the lights in the hall.” I said, “Well Karen, I’ll give you a blessing and the Lord will take care of it.” We didn’t know what was happening. Finally, we got an ophthalmologist in and said, “There is no internal bleeding in the eye socket or anything like that.” What it was, was a devastating situation that affected her optic nerve and she lost her sight. She never really complained about that. She accepted it.
One day she said, “Dad, if I could go to the other side today, I would be most happy.” She kept repeating that she felt it was her time and she would be happy to go. She was not happy to leave her children, husband and all of this, but she knew it was inevitable that she would pass through the veil at this time. It has been a great comfort to me to have been close to her and be able to rub her feet, hands, neck and back, whatever I could do to help her. We have had such tremendous response from the family. I cannot tell you the sacrifices Mark and Kim have made. Bruce became known as ‘Nurse Bruce.’ I don’t know if I could count, but I am sure he was there 10 nights in a row with no respite. He just came every night. He prayed that he could do that and again came. Everyone in our family has been so tremendous. I don’t know how to thank all of them for what they have done.
I want to leave Karen’s life and study it. Study it! Pattern your life after it. When you are sealed in the temple when you are married, all of us have been sealed, that is the protection in this life from the wiles of Satan. Keep your covenants. We are a covenant people. We are through Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and through Joseph that was sold into Egypt, through Ephraim that has the responsibility now of teaching the children of the Lord the Gospel here upon the earth. Live the commandments accurately. You cannot compromise the commandments. The Lord knows what is best for you and what will bring you happiness and joy in your life. If you don’t live them, you will suffer the consequences. We have the promise to us that if we keep our covenants, all our children will eventually come to us, but if they don’t live properly, they will have to go through a state of repentance, placing themselves back in a position where they will be given happiness. We are praying that they will all stay true. The Lord has prepared blessings for us. They are there awaiting us and we just need to follow Karen’s life, my wife’s life, Eric’s life, and pick out whoever you want to add to them as they are all wonderful people, and you will be blessed greatly.
I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Funeral Remarks - Eric Savage, Husband
Brigg couldn’t get up and I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this. What Diane failed to mention is her love of paint samples and collecting the fabric for . . . and me, either painting something or helping her with her projects. It was a pleasure to do that.
I thought I worked it out and would try to say a few words about my beloved wife, Karen. I really appreciate her father. He thought it would be interesting for me to talk about our courtship. We only dated three or four times formally. It was kind of odd. I was in the Air Force assignment, finishing pilot training when we actually started dating. I had orders to go to Iran and I was leaving, so Karen came along. We went out a few times. As a matter of fact, she asked me out and I knew I was leaving and I didn’t know where I was going to leave ‘to.’ Diane mentioned that her eyesight failed. After I left, I used to joke with her that she really married me because she couldn’t see me. At the time her kidneys were failing and she was preparing for her dialysis, she had a shunt in her arm and it used to drive me crazy. Every time she put her arm around my head or I leaned against her arm, that thing would go swoosh . . .
Karen’s light filled our home with laughter and joy. She was always making jokes and she thought I was funny. She would laugh at herself and help me to laugh at myself. Another example is, I used to tease her that the only reason she married me . . . .eyesight, what that I was the best guy to come along with the best health insurance. We stayed in contact after I moved. Thinking back now, I think she had some serious health problems with the dialysis and her sight. I don’t know why I never really worried about that. I never thought about it. Again, maybe it was because I didn’t know where the relationship was going, but I knew I didn’t want to loose her and that I wanted to stay close to her. I have a note here that says, . . .the Lord guides you and inspires you to make the right decisions.
The best decision I ever made was to ask Karen to marry me. I went back on a three day weekend and we were probably on our fourth date - I don’t know - we had called and written letters. She would ask her friends to read the letters to her because she couldn’t see them and I know she wouldn’t ask her parents to read them. She did finally break down and help her father to realize . . . We stayed in contact. Anyway, I asked her to marry me on this date and I did not expect to. The words just came out and she said ‘yes.’ . . .strange enough. I knew it was right. Like I said, it was the best thing I had ever done. For Karen, it wasn’t the same. We hadn’t dated and hadn’t gotten to know each other that well. It was a long distance relationship and she really took it on, but she knew a long time before I did - through the spirit - that we were going to get married. She held tight to that.
There were many health problems, although the first kidney transplant did give me . . .as the first of four for seven months. Dave called up and said “I’m ready to donate my kidney to you.” He was in school and decided the time was right and was a good match for Karen. I tell you that it had to be the next day after David called that my squad commander called me into the office. Our whole squadron was deployed and a few of us were not. “All right, it’s your turn to go. You will be deploying in a week.” When I told him about Karen’s situation, I don’t think he believed me. He thought I was trying to get out of going. I did not have to go.
You have to consider how many surgeries, biopsies, how many things do people know you did in your lifetime. How many surgeries do you have? None? One? Karen had several. Every session was significantly different to her. I do want to say how well she handled every situation that came along, the job she faced.. She always put a happy appearance on herself. When you saw her out of the house you knew she was happy. She was very cheerful. Even when she was very sick, she would not let others know she was sick or tired. She would not complain publicly. Of course, she would complain to me. Most of us can’t know what she was experiencing. .......... She really, truly handled herself with grace and dignity.
Another joke we had, and some of you may understand this one, is after a while we got to the point where I would ask her how she was doing and she would say, “I’m not dead yet.” It was from a Monty Python movie and it went on and on. “How are you doing?” “I’m not dead yet.” It was hilarious, but it was just fun to hear her say that, “I’m not dead yet.” That was indicative of her positive attitude.
Karen was a friend to anyone. If you met her once, most people liked her. You became a friend, brother or sister to her. My sister Mary Ann once commented. We were over by my father’s house. Karen was talking to someone she never knew and Mary Ann was watching her reaction with this person. She turned to me and said, “Karen never meets anyone who is a stranger.” It was very true of Karen. She never did meet strangers. This really was her personality.
I realized a long time ago that Karen was very special. I wondered why a person like her would marry a person like me. I don’t know. I was very blessed. I have the feeling very often that the only thing that is special about me is Karen and our two boys. They have been the greatest blessing in our lives.
Karen also had a strong and deep faith in Jesus Christ. She would call down the blessings of heaven for herself and for our family.
I was doing my Reserve Duty in Dover and I walked into an old friend of mine who was an LDS friend in the squadron and there are not many LDS friends in the squadron generally. The ones there are, are very good friends indeed as attested to similar ones that were mentioned already. I walked up to him and said, . . . . . He said, “Why did the Lord bless you? Why did they hire you?” I said, “The Lord did not bless me, he blessed Karen.”
With Karen, you always expect a miracle. You always would expect that the Lord would come and bless her and it would happen. I called one of her long time doctors who lived in Mesa, Dr. Moore, and talked to him about Karen’s situation and her passing. He said, “I was treating Karen for 20 years off and on. It is a miracle that she has lasted this long.” The Lord has truly blessed her.
Now that Karen is gone, there are miracles that we see in her life. Perhaps the blessings we counted on will no longer be there right away. I know Karen is in heaven watching over us, myself and our two boys. I know she will have access to the Lord and to plead to Him. Karen had a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . . . .souls and had an enduring testimony of eternal marriage.
Karen was someone who would really wanted to be a better person. She never feared death. I think she faced it so long that it had no fear for her. She looked at death as the next step. I am often reminded of that as I read in the Book of Mormon in Jacob where he says in chapter 7:26
“. . .the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days.”
As I contemplate that scripture, I get the distinct feeling that Jacob was not only talking about his people specifically, but I think he was talking about our sojourn here on the earth generally. I feel like that very often we feel like wanders here and heaven is our home with our Father in Heaven and our family members.
I would like to thank you all for coming. It is a great source of strength to all of us. I have such love and appreciation for the short time we had. June 9th will be our wedding anniversary. The time has gone by quickly but I cherish those memories I have with my good wife Karen and know that we will see each other again. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I thought I worked it out and would try to say a few words about my beloved wife, Karen. I really appreciate her father. He thought it would be interesting for me to talk about our courtship. We only dated three or four times formally. It was kind of odd. I was in the Air Force assignment, finishing pilot training when we actually started dating. I had orders to go to Iran and I was leaving, so Karen came along. We went out a few times. As a matter of fact, she asked me out and I knew I was leaving and I didn’t know where I was going to leave ‘to.’ Diane mentioned that her eyesight failed. After I left, I used to joke with her that she really married me because she couldn’t see me. At the time her kidneys were failing and she was preparing for her dialysis, she had a shunt in her arm and it used to drive me crazy. Every time she put her arm around my head or I leaned against her arm, that thing would go swoosh . . .
Karen’s light filled our home with laughter and joy. She was always making jokes and she thought I was funny. She would laugh at herself and help me to laugh at myself. Another example is, I used to tease her that the only reason she married me . . . .eyesight, what that I was the best guy to come along with the best health insurance. We stayed in contact after I moved. Thinking back now, I think she had some serious health problems with the dialysis and her sight. I don’t know why I never really worried about that. I never thought about it. Again, maybe it was because I didn’t know where the relationship was going, but I knew I didn’t want to loose her and that I wanted to stay close to her. I have a note here that says, . . .the Lord guides you and inspires you to make the right decisions.
The best decision I ever made was to ask Karen to marry me. I went back on a three day weekend and we were probably on our fourth date - I don’t know - we had called and written letters. She would ask her friends to read the letters to her because she couldn’t see them and I know she wouldn’t ask her parents to read them. She did finally break down and help her father to realize . . . We stayed in contact. Anyway, I asked her to marry me on this date and I did not expect to. The words just came out and she said ‘yes.’ . . .strange enough. I knew it was right. Like I said, it was the best thing I had ever done. For Karen, it wasn’t the same. We hadn’t dated and hadn’t gotten to know each other that well. It was a long distance relationship and she really took it on, but she knew a long time before I did - through the spirit - that we were going to get married. She held tight to that.
There were many health problems, although the first kidney transplant did give me . . .as the first of four for seven months. Dave called up and said “I’m ready to donate my kidney to you.” He was in school and decided the time was right and was a good match for Karen. I tell you that it had to be the next day after David called that my squad commander called me into the office. Our whole squadron was deployed and a few of us were not. “All right, it’s your turn to go. You will be deploying in a week.” When I told him about Karen’s situation, I don’t think he believed me. He thought I was trying to get out of going. I did not have to go.
You have to consider how many surgeries, biopsies, how many things do people know you did in your lifetime. How many surgeries do you have? None? One? Karen had several. Every session was significantly different to her. I do want to say how well she handled every situation that came along, the job she faced.. She always put a happy appearance on herself. When you saw her out of the house you knew she was happy. She was very cheerful. Even when she was very sick, she would not let others know she was sick or tired. She would not complain publicly. Of course, she would complain to me. Most of us can’t know what she was experiencing. .......... She really, truly handled herself with grace and dignity.
Another joke we had, and some of you may understand this one, is after a while we got to the point where I would ask her how she was doing and she would say, “I’m not dead yet.” It was from a Monty Python movie and it went on and on. “How are you doing?” “I’m not dead yet.” It was hilarious, but it was just fun to hear her say that, “I’m not dead yet.” That was indicative of her positive attitude.
Karen was a friend to anyone. If you met her once, most people liked her. You became a friend, brother or sister to her. My sister Mary Ann once commented. We were over by my father’s house. Karen was talking to someone she never knew and Mary Ann was watching her reaction with this person. She turned to me and said, “Karen never meets anyone who is a stranger.” It was very true of Karen. She never did meet strangers. This really was her personality.
I realized a long time ago that Karen was very special. I wondered why a person like her would marry a person like me. I don’t know. I was very blessed. I have the feeling very often that the only thing that is special about me is Karen and our two boys. They have been the greatest blessing in our lives.
Karen also had a strong and deep faith in Jesus Christ. She would call down the blessings of heaven for herself and for our family.
I was doing my Reserve Duty in Dover and I walked into an old friend of mine who was an LDS friend in the squadron and there are not many LDS friends in the squadron generally. The ones there are, are very good friends indeed as attested to similar ones that were mentioned already. I walked up to him and said, . . . . . He said, “Why did the Lord bless you? Why did they hire you?” I said, “The Lord did not bless me, he blessed Karen.”
With Karen, you always expect a miracle. You always would expect that the Lord would come and bless her and it would happen. I called one of her long time doctors who lived in Mesa, Dr. Moore, and talked to him about Karen’s situation and her passing. He said, “I was treating Karen for 20 years off and on. It is a miracle that she has lasted this long.” The Lord has truly blessed her.
Now that Karen is gone, there are miracles that we see in her life. Perhaps the blessings we counted on will no longer be there right away. I know Karen is in heaven watching over us, myself and our two boys. I know she will have access to the Lord and to plead to Him. Karen had a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . . . .souls and had an enduring testimony of eternal marriage.
Karen was someone who would really wanted to be a better person. She never feared death. I think she faced it so long that it had no fear for her. She looked at death as the next step. I am often reminded of that as I read in the Book of Mormon in Jacob where he says in chapter 7:26
“. . .the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days.”
As I contemplate that scripture, I get the distinct feeling that Jacob was not only talking about his people specifically, but I think he was talking about our sojourn here on the earth generally. I feel like that very often we feel like wanders here and heaven is our home with our Father in Heaven and our family members.
I would like to thank you all for coming. It is a great source of strength to all of us. I have such love and appreciation for the short time we had. June 9th will be our wedding anniversary. The time has gone by quickly but I cherish those memories I have with my good wife Karen and know that we will see each other again. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Opening Prayer at Funeral: Tom Miller, Brother-in-law
Our dear Father in Heaven, we come before Thee this beautiful day as family and friends to celebrate the life of our dear sister Karen. We are so thankful for her, her mind and . . . . Father, we are thankful for the many blessings she brought into our lives. We are thankful for all the joy she has brought to us. We are thankful for the family that is gathered to love and support her . . . . . We ask for a special blessing to be with Eric, to bless and support him, and Blake and Brigg, to keep, support and comfort them at this time. Please bless them to know they are loved and looked after by more than just family and friends. Through their eternal perspective, we pray that Thou mayest bless and keep them. Father, we are grateful for all of our blessings. We thank Thee and acknowledge Thy hand in all and say these things in the name of Thy son, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Family Prayer: Richard L. Finlinson, Father
Family Prayer: Richard L. Finlinson, Father
Our Father in Heaven, we meet here together as a family to honor Karen Finlinson Savage, her life and the things she has contributed to all of us and those she has come to know. We are grateful that she was accepted into the spirit world, that she has been relieved of many of the problems and concerns that have beset her throughout her life. We are grateful that she has left a wonderful legacy here with both friendships and with her family. She has been diligent in teaching her boys who, in our estimation, have been great blessings to her, for she was advised not to have children. We are grateful that Thou hast given her this privilege. We are grateful for her husband Eric and all he has taken upon himself as a burden to help her throughout her time with him. We know that he has been greatly blessed, and all of us have been blessed to assist her and help her through her time in this life. We are so thankful that she is relieved of the burdens that she has had here and know that she was welcomed by those on the other side who are taking her into their care and keeping, helping her to enjoy the future of her life that she has so valiantly earned. We pray that we here will benefit from her life and from the example she has set. She has been accurate in living the commandments and has done those things that are important to her eternal salvation. We ask Thee to bless her boys that they will be sustained by all of us and helped to continue their lives in the wonderful manner they have done to this point. They are outstanding young men and have much ahead of them to accomplish. We look forward to seeing them develop and grow into manhood. We again thank Thee for Karen’s life with us, for our ability to help her on occasions when she has needed it, for her pleasant and positive attitude she has had in enduring those things placed upon her. Her life has been a joyous life and we thank Thee for this, and say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Our Father in Heaven, we meet here together as a family to honor Karen Finlinson Savage, her life and the things she has contributed to all of us and those she has come to know. We are grateful that she was accepted into the spirit world, that she has been relieved of many of the problems and concerns that have beset her throughout her life. We are grateful that she has left a wonderful legacy here with both friendships and with her family. She has been diligent in teaching her boys who, in our estimation, have been great blessings to her, for she was advised not to have children. We are grateful that Thou hast given her this privilege. We are grateful for her husband Eric and all he has taken upon himself as a burden to help her throughout her time with him. We know that he has been greatly blessed, and all of us have been blessed to assist her and help her through her time in this life. We are so thankful that she is relieved of the burdens that she has had here and know that she was welcomed by those on the other side who are taking her into their care and keeping, helping her to enjoy the future of her life that she has so valiantly earned. We pray that we here will benefit from her life and from the example she has set. She has been accurate in living the commandments and has done those things that are important to her eternal salvation. We ask Thee to bless her boys that they will be sustained by all of us and helped to continue their lives in the wonderful manner they have done to this point. They are outstanding young men and have much ahead of them to accomplish. We look forward to seeing them develop and grow into manhood. We again thank Thee for Karen’s life with us, for our ability to help her on occasions when she has needed it, for her pleasant and positive attitude she has had in enduring those things placed upon her. Her life has been a joyous life and we thank Thee for this, and say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
My Card to Karen by Diane Miller
This is the note that I sent to Karen when she had gone to Salt Lake to get her transplant. I had purchased a card several years before that I had saved to give to her at some time. The front of the card looked like a pink patchwork quilt and the inside said: "Oh, how I love my sister!" This is what I wrote to her...
Karen,
Please come home... I don’t have anyone to call and chat, gossip or just laugh with!
Anytime I think...oh, I’ve got to call Karen and tell her. Well, I just have to tell myself over again and make do. Sometimes I tell Tom and the bang is just not there!
I’m really sorry that you’ve had to go through so much these past few weeks. I just tell myself that the best thing I can do for you is take good care of the kids so you don’t have to worry. It’s hard to have you so far away and not be able to visit and give you comfort.
We are praying for you and for Dr. Belnap’s bag of tricks to keep coming!
I love you, Diane
Karen,
Please come home... I don’t have anyone to call and chat, gossip or just laugh with!
Anytime I think...oh, I’ve got to call Karen and tell her. Well, I just have to tell myself over again and make do. Sometimes I tell Tom and the bang is just not there!
I’m really sorry that you’ve had to go through so much these past few weeks. I just tell myself that the best thing I can do for you is take good care of the kids so you don’t have to worry. It’s hard to have you so far away and not be able to visit and give you comfort.
We are praying for you and for Dr. Belnap’s bag of tricks to keep coming!
I love you, Diane
Karen's Memorial Service Program - Mesa, AZ
Karen Finlinson Savage
Born: July 18, 1962 - Died: June 11, 2006
Memorial Services
June 24th, 2006
Mesa Central Stake Center
Daughter of Richard L. Finlinson and
LaVon Williams Finlinson
Wife of Eric C. Savage
Sons: Blake E. Savage
Brigg C. Savage
Services
Conducting..................... Bishop Ezra T. Clark
Mesa Evergreen Ward
Prelude & Postlude Music........... Sherie Kent
Opening Hymn.................. #292 O My Father
Prayer............................................... Tom Miller
Life Sketch.................................... Diane Miller
Remarks................................... Bruce Finlinson
Remarks.................................... Mark Finlinson
Musical Number.......................... Brian Nissen
Be Still, My Soul
Remarks................................... Allen Finlinson
Remarks..................................... Gary Finlinson
Remarks.................................. David Finlinson
Remarks............................... Richard Finlinson
Closing Remarks........... Bishop Ezra T. Clark
Closing Hymn...... # 89 The Lord is My Light
Closing Prayer......................... Ward F. Savage
Born: July 18, 1962 - Died: June 11, 2006
Memorial Services
June 24th, 2006
Mesa Central Stake Center
Daughter of Richard L. Finlinson and
LaVon Williams Finlinson
Wife of Eric C. Savage
Sons: Blake E. Savage
Brigg C. Savage
Services
Conducting..................... Bishop Ezra T. Clark
Mesa Evergreen Ward
Prelude & Postlude Music........... Sherie Kent
Opening Hymn.................. #292 O My Father
Prayer............................................... Tom Miller
Life Sketch.................................... Diane Miller
Remarks................................... Bruce Finlinson
Remarks.................................... Mark Finlinson
Musical Number.......................... Brian Nissen
Be Still, My Soul
Remarks................................... Allen Finlinson
Remarks..................................... Gary Finlinson
Remarks.................................. David Finlinson
Remarks............................... Richard Finlinson
Closing Remarks........... Bishop Ezra T. Clark
Closing Hymn...... # 89 The Lord is My Light
Closing Prayer......................... Ward F. Savage
Mark Finlinson's Talk at Karen's Memorial Service in Mesa, AZ
Karen Finlinson Savage
By Mark Finlinson
June 24, 2006
Today I want to talk about the space in time when Karen left Arizona until her death. Because I live close to the hospital I had the privilege of being close to the activities surrounding the last two months of Karen’s life.
The question is: how do you define greatness? Greatness is not defined by the movie stars that attend your funeral or the flowers sent by celebrities.
But I saw greatness exhibited many times as Karen lay in her hospital bed. One such occasion was Eric returning to Karen’s beside after filling flight obligations. Upon his return Karen’s condition had worsened. As we entered the hospital late at night, there was uneasiness about what was happening. When Eric entered the darken room; it was as if Captain Moroni of old had entered to comfort the troops. Karen was immediately at peace. The staff had direction and the leader had returned. Eric rarely left her side. He would either sleep at the hospital or come home late into the night and leave early to go to the hospital. Karen loved having Eric by her side. Greatness was being defined.
I also saw greatness on Sunday June 4th in a quiet hospital room. On that day greatness was shown in many different ways. As Karen’s condition worsened she and Eric had conversations about what to do next. On that day the decision was made to take no extraordinary action to prolong her life. Karen’s request was that she exit this life with as much dignity as possible. She also requested that her boys be brought to her. Blake and I went and got Brigg out of Sacrament Meeting. Everyone could feel the importance of the day.
As the boys were brought into the room the tears could not be contained. At this point in time Karen had become blind and her eyes stared into space. As she lay in her bed she held the hands of the young boys that she had brought into the world and gave them their last instructions. She informed them that she would be leaving them soon and they needed to be strong. As the boys pleaded with her not to go she explained that she was going to be their Guardian Angel watching over them at all times. She told the boys she had taught them correct principles that they should follow through out their lives. Greatness was again being defined.
A short time later two elders from a neighboring ward came by unannounced and asked if we wanted the Sacrament. Those of us in the room felt like they were messengers sent from God. Because of Karen’s condition the sacrament could only be touched to her lips. As they stood around the hospital bed and spoke the words never again could the sacrament be the same…
O God the Eternal Father we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this water to the souls of all those who drink of it. That they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them: that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.
The angels were attending to Karen’s needs. Karen who has chosen the right her entire life was now being comforted. Royalty was being blessed because of a “Life well Lived”. The comforting Spirit was so strong the heavens were opened and the angels were present. Greatness had revealed itself again.
I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude for the magnificent pouring out of the spirit that I witnessed. I felt the Lord was giving me a personal witness of how special my sister was. There was greatness in the hospital room when Eric took his Celestial mate and children that day and prepared Karen to meet her maker with dignity and grace.
Later that evening the Savages & Finlinsons assembled together as Eric’s father gave a prayer & Dad gave her a blessing. Dad, Eric or different family members would give her a blessing before leaving the hospital each night. But having all the family there on that Sunday night was a special spiritual experience. As I looked out the window at the Utah State Capital I was exhausted from the outpouring of the Spirit. I felt the angels were watching over my royal Sister as she prepared to enter the next level of her eternal progression.
I will be forever indebted to my little sister Karen for the great style, love and enthusiasm she brought into my life. It’s an honor to have associated with such Greatness.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
By Mark Finlinson
June 24, 2006
Today I want to talk about the space in time when Karen left Arizona until her death. Because I live close to the hospital I had the privilege of being close to the activities surrounding the last two months of Karen’s life.
The question is: how do you define greatness? Greatness is not defined by the movie stars that attend your funeral or the flowers sent by celebrities.
But I saw greatness exhibited many times as Karen lay in her hospital bed. One such occasion was Eric returning to Karen’s beside after filling flight obligations. Upon his return Karen’s condition had worsened. As we entered the hospital late at night, there was uneasiness about what was happening. When Eric entered the darken room; it was as if Captain Moroni of old had entered to comfort the troops. Karen was immediately at peace. The staff had direction and the leader had returned. Eric rarely left her side. He would either sleep at the hospital or come home late into the night and leave early to go to the hospital. Karen loved having Eric by her side. Greatness was being defined.
I also saw greatness on Sunday June 4th in a quiet hospital room. On that day greatness was shown in many different ways. As Karen’s condition worsened she and Eric had conversations about what to do next. On that day the decision was made to take no extraordinary action to prolong her life. Karen’s request was that she exit this life with as much dignity as possible. She also requested that her boys be brought to her. Blake and I went and got Brigg out of Sacrament Meeting. Everyone could feel the importance of the day.
As the boys were brought into the room the tears could not be contained. At this point in time Karen had become blind and her eyes stared into space. As she lay in her bed she held the hands of the young boys that she had brought into the world and gave them their last instructions. She informed them that she would be leaving them soon and they needed to be strong. As the boys pleaded with her not to go she explained that she was going to be their Guardian Angel watching over them at all times. She told the boys she had taught them correct principles that they should follow through out their lives. Greatness was again being defined.
A short time later two elders from a neighboring ward came by unannounced and asked if we wanted the Sacrament. Those of us in the room felt like they were messengers sent from God. Because of Karen’s condition the sacrament could only be touched to her lips. As they stood around the hospital bed and spoke the words never again could the sacrament be the same…
O God the Eternal Father we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this water to the souls of all those who drink of it. That they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them: that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.
The angels were attending to Karen’s needs. Karen who has chosen the right her entire life was now being comforted. Royalty was being blessed because of a “Life well Lived”. The comforting Spirit was so strong the heavens were opened and the angels were present. Greatness had revealed itself again.
I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude for the magnificent pouring out of the spirit that I witnessed. I felt the Lord was giving me a personal witness of how special my sister was. There was greatness in the hospital room when Eric took his Celestial mate and children that day and prepared Karen to meet her maker with dignity and grace.
Later that evening the Savages & Finlinsons assembled together as Eric’s father gave a prayer & Dad gave her a blessing. Dad, Eric or different family members would give her a blessing before leaving the hospital each night. But having all the family there on that Sunday night was a special spiritual experience. As I looked out the window at the Utah State Capital I was exhausted from the outpouring of the Spirit. I felt the angels were watching over my royal Sister as she prepared to enter the next level of her eternal progression.
I will be forever indebted to my little sister Karen for the great style, love and enthusiasm she brought into my life. It’s an honor to have associated with such Greatness.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
More Karen Memories by Diane Miller
I had to teach a Relief Society lesson and I wanted to share some experiences of Karen because Lyric's kindness came to my mind and it was so applicable to my lesson. I called my mother and she also contributed to the chain of events and feelings at the time it took place. These are the things I shared:
"One of the examples that comes to my mind is right here in our own ward. When my sister Karen got sick years ago with the effects of diabetes...she was in her mid 20’s and we all wondered if she would even make it. That was the unspoken consensus of everyone around her. That’s when I first met Deb Lee as she was Karen’s visiting teacher. And very consistent I might add!
Going blind, she would read Eric’s letters, she would take Karen for a ride, be a good friend, talk to her and open up the whole world of what she was being shut off from. When Karen moved in the guest area. Eric time. She wouldn’t let anyone else read them. Then let Lyric was such a dear friend to her during that time. In her little red convertible. She would take off for quite a while and spend time. She was a dear, dear friend. I will always be thankful for Lyric and what she did at that time. She did what no one else could do. She wouldn’t let anyone else read her letters. Karen would laugh and you could hear her laugh over the whole house. She and Eric were on the same wave length. She was full of joy during the time she was blind. Dad fixed her a stick that she could use to tap around to the fridge and finding her food. Had her food fixed and on the left side of the refrigerator so she could find what it was. Dad was at Eisenhower school and she wouldn’t let anyone else help her with her malt that Dr. Bigler wanted to get into her. Morning dad would get up before school, give her a shot and time it and see to it that she would get her malt at the right time so she wouldn’t have a reaction. Before she was going back to sleep and there would be low blood sugar reactions.
As far as Lyric, she was the friend of the hour! She would bring the outside world to Karen.
Now, the 20’s are often times of thinking about yourself and being focused on me, instead of others. Kids are getting married, dating, socializing and they are very fun years for most. Lyric Hatch and Karen were good friends in high school and during this time, Lyric would consistently come by. Take time out of her busy me centered life and take Karen for rides in her convertible. She would show up as flamboyant as you would imagine Lyric to be and bring such a feeling of someone caring into Karen’s life. This will never be forgotten as it was such an unselfish act of service and brought my mother such joy to see that someone cared at a time when it seemed so hopeless."
"One of the examples that comes to my mind is right here in our own ward. When my sister Karen got sick years ago with the effects of diabetes...she was in her mid 20’s and we all wondered if she would even make it. That was the unspoken consensus of everyone around her. That’s when I first met Deb Lee as she was Karen’s visiting teacher. And very consistent I might add!
Going blind, she would read Eric’s letters, she would take Karen for a ride, be a good friend, talk to her and open up the whole world of what she was being shut off from. When Karen moved in the guest area. Eric time. She wouldn’t let anyone else read them. Then let Lyric was such a dear friend to her during that time. In her little red convertible. She would take off for quite a while and spend time. She was a dear, dear friend. I will always be thankful for Lyric and what she did at that time. She did what no one else could do. She wouldn’t let anyone else read her letters. Karen would laugh and you could hear her laugh over the whole house. She and Eric were on the same wave length. She was full of joy during the time she was blind. Dad fixed her a stick that she could use to tap around to the fridge and finding her food. Had her food fixed and on the left side of the refrigerator so she could find what it was. Dad was at Eisenhower school and she wouldn’t let anyone else help her with her malt that Dr. Bigler wanted to get into her. Morning dad would get up before school, give her a shot and time it and see to it that she would get her malt at the right time so she wouldn’t have a reaction. Before she was going back to sleep and there would be low blood sugar reactions.
As far as Lyric, she was the friend of the hour! She would bring the outside world to Karen.
Now, the 20’s are often times of thinking about yourself and being focused on me, instead of others. Kids are getting married, dating, socializing and they are very fun years for most. Lyric Hatch and Karen were good friends in high school and during this time, Lyric would consistently come by. Take time out of her busy me centered life and take Karen for rides in her convertible. She would show up as flamboyant as you would imagine Lyric to be and bring such a feeling of someone caring into Karen’s life. This will never be forgotten as it was such an unselfish act of service and brought my mother such joy to see that someone cared at a time when it seemed so hopeless."
Memories of Karen by Lyric Boyle Hatch
Diane,
The following are some thoughts about Karen.....
Karen was very active in school. She was 9th grade Vice President. I remember in 9th grade she liked a boy, but when he tried to hold her hand she broke up with him.
In High School Karen was in the DECCA club. When we were going to Mountain View High School, students were allowed 10 unexcused absences with no questions asked, but on the 11th you would be automatically withdrawn from your class. So Karen and her friends would strategize on which classes they could miss to go on a donut run. Then we would go to Mortimer’s house for lunch. Note the use of “Mortimer” when referring to Lori Mortimer, because many of Karen’s friends were known simply by their last name. Karen was known by her high school friends as “Finn.”
Karen loved student council and school dances. She had a really cool dance step and that’s amazing for the 70's. We would watch her and try to copy her steps. We ended up calling the step right step left kick one foot forward as your arms hang at your sides and her shoulders sway, "The Finlinson Move."
She was so funny.
Karen always had the softest bed and she sewed beautifully. Karen had amazing style, was immaculate in her home and wardrobe.
Side note: As young adults Karen and I, would go to YA Sacrament meeting, but for Sunday School we would run to "Swenson's" on Main Street for french fries and ranch dressing. We would always head back in time for Relief Society, since we were the teachers.
I really miss her, and I have so much more I would like to write. Like the times we would go shopping even though she was really sick and had gone blind. We would throw her wheel chair in the back of my Datsun convertible and off we would go. One such time our "quest" was for a new pair of jeans. As I pushed her through the store she would reach out and feel the material on each of the pairs and pick several to try on. We would go in the dressing room and she would try each on and feel how they fit. She would ask with each pair, "are these cute, they feel cute, are they cuter than the last pair?" She was amazing with her great attitude during her illnesses.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I love you Diane.
Lyric
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