Brigg couldn’t get up and I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this. What Diane failed to mention is her love of paint samples and collecting the fabric for . . . and me, either painting something or helping her with her projects. It was a pleasure to do that.
I thought I worked it out and would try to say a few words about my beloved wife, Karen. I really appreciate her father. He thought it would be interesting for me to talk about our courtship. We only dated three or four times formally. It was kind of odd. I was in the Air Force assignment, finishing pilot training when we actually started dating. I had orders to go to Iran and I was leaving, so Karen came along. We went out a few times. As a matter of fact, she asked me out and I knew I was leaving and I didn’t know where I was going to leave ‘to.’ Diane mentioned that her eyesight failed. After I left, I used to joke with her that she really married me because she couldn’t see me. At the time her kidneys were failing and she was preparing for her dialysis, she had a shunt in her arm and it used to drive me crazy. Every time she put her arm around my head or I leaned against her arm, that thing would go swoosh . . .
Karen’s light filled our home with laughter and joy. She was always making jokes and she thought I was funny. She would laugh at herself and help me to laugh at myself. Another example is, I used to tease her that the only reason she married me . . . .eyesight, what that I was the best guy to come along with the best health insurance. We stayed in contact after I moved. Thinking back now, I think she had some serious health problems with the dialysis and her sight. I don’t know why I never really worried about that. I never thought about it. Again, maybe it was because I didn’t know where the relationship was going, but I knew I didn’t want to loose her and that I wanted to stay close to her. I have a note here that says, . . .the Lord guides you and inspires you to make the right decisions.
The best decision I ever made was to ask Karen to marry me. I went back on a three day weekend and we were probably on our fourth date - I don’t know - we had called and written letters. She would ask her friends to read the letters to her because she couldn’t see them and I know she wouldn’t ask her parents to read them. She did finally break down and help her father to realize . . . We stayed in contact. Anyway, I asked her to marry me on this date and I did not expect to. The words just came out and she said ‘yes.’ . . .strange enough. I knew it was right. Like I said, it was the best thing I had ever done. For Karen, it wasn’t the same. We hadn’t dated and hadn’t gotten to know each other that well. It was a long distance relationship and she really took it on, but she knew a long time before I did - through the spirit - that we were going to get married. She held tight to that.
There were many health problems, although the first kidney transplant did give me . . .as the first of four for seven months. Dave called up and said “I’m ready to donate my kidney to you.” He was in school and decided the time was right and was a good match for Karen. I tell you that it had to be the next day after David called that my squad commander called me into the office. Our whole squadron was deployed and a few of us were not. “All right, it’s your turn to go. You will be deploying in a week.” When I told him about Karen’s situation, I don’t think he believed me. He thought I was trying to get out of going. I did not have to go.
You have to consider how many surgeries, biopsies, how many things do people know you did in your lifetime. How many surgeries do you have? None? One? Karen had several. Every session was significantly different to her. I do want to say how well she handled every situation that came along, the job she faced.. She always put a happy appearance on herself. When you saw her out of the house you knew she was happy. She was very cheerful. Even when she was very sick, she would not let others know she was sick or tired. She would not complain publicly. Of course, she would complain to me. Most of us can’t know what she was experiencing. .......... She really, truly handled herself with grace and dignity.
Another joke we had, and some of you may understand this one, is after a while we got to the point where I would ask her how she was doing and she would say, “I’m not dead yet.” It was from a Monty Python movie and it went on and on. “How are you doing?” “I’m not dead yet.” It was hilarious, but it was just fun to hear her say that, “I’m not dead yet.” That was indicative of her positive attitude.
Karen was a friend to anyone. If you met her once, most people liked her. You became a friend, brother or sister to her. My sister Mary Ann once commented. We were over by my father’s house. Karen was talking to someone she never knew and Mary Ann was watching her reaction with this person. She turned to me and said, “Karen never meets anyone who is a stranger.” It was very true of Karen. She never did meet strangers. This really was her personality.
I realized a long time ago that Karen was very special. I wondered why a person like her would marry a person like me. I don’t know. I was very blessed. I have the feeling very often that the only thing that is special about me is Karen and our two boys. They have been the greatest blessing in our lives.
Karen also had a strong and deep faith in Jesus Christ. She would call down the blessings of heaven for herself and for our family.
I was doing my Reserve Duty in Dover and I walked into an old friend of mine who was an LDS friend in the squadron and there are not many LDS friends in the squadron generally. The ones there are, are very good friends indeed as attested to similar ones that were mentioned already. I walked up to him and said, . . . . . He said, “Why did the Lord bless you? Why did they hire you?” I said, “The Lord did not bless me, he blessed Karen.”
With Karen, you always expect a miracle. You always would expect that the Lord would come and bless her and it would happen. I called one of her long time doctors who lived in Mesa, Dr. Moore, and talked to him about Karen’s situation and her passing. He said, “I was treating Karen for 20 years off and on. It is a miracle that she has lasted this long.” The Lord has truly blessed her.
Now that Karen is gone, there are miracles that we see in her life. Perhaps the blessings we counted on will no longer be there right away. I know Karen is in heaven watching over us, myself and our two boys. I know she will have access to the Lord and to plead to Him. Karen had a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . . . .souls and had an enduring testimony of eternal marriage.
Karen was someone who would really wanted to be a better person. She never feared death. I think she faced it so long that it had no fear for her. She looked at death as the next step. I am often reminded of that as I read in the Book of Mormon in Jacob where he says in chapter 7:26
“. . .the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days.”
As I contemplate that scripture, I get the distinct feeling that Jacob was not only talking about his people specifically, but I think he was talking about our sojourn here on the earth generally. I feel like that very often we feel like wanders here and heaven is our home with our Father in Heaven and our family members.
I would like to thank you all for coming. It is a great source of strength to all of us. I have such love and appreciation for the short time we had. June 9th will be our wedding anniversary. The time has gone by quickly but I cherish those memories I have with my good wife Karen and know that we will see each other again. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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