"I can't think about that today...I'll think about that tomorrow." -Scarlett O'Hara

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Funeral Remarks: Richard Finlinson, Father

I thought what I would do is focus upon Karen’s example, which she received from her mother and father, mainly her mother, in teaching her the Gospel. When LaVon and I got married, our main objective was to have a family. We wanted to have them fairly quick because we didn’t want to be old people when they grew up. We wanted to have time. We still grew old.

I want to mention in Malachi, he predicted that Elijah the prophet would come and turn the hearts of the fathers to their children - think about this - and then the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest a curse would come upon the earth and that would he a problem. What he was talking about was that Elijah would come to restore the keys of sealing in the temple of the Lord where you would be sealed for time and all eternity.

LaVon and I never thought of being married anywhere else but the temple following the pattern of my mother and father, my grandfathers and grandmothers, LaVon’s mother and father, and her grandfathers and grandmothers who were strong individuals. They were some of the strongest individuals to grace the earth. They knew the Gospel Plan. They knew what the prophets were talking about concerning the pre-mortal existence and these things were taught indelibly on our children’s minds because LaVon never left the house, except to do Church work, Primary work or whatever she was assigned to do. Her main thing was to focus upon those children from the time they came at birth. I have to say that we are proud of our children. We have seven of them. They are all still faithful in the Gospel, love the Gospel and they are all Republicans, so what more could you ask?

We pray about our grandchildren, focus upon their lives and pray that they will follow our example, the example of their parents and the example of Karen. Karen prayed for a spouse. We had her in a guest area in our home and she was having a very difficult time. She had a neuropathy that was affecting her stomach. She couldn’t take anything down without a problem and she was down to 98 pounds or less - maybe 89. She was very thin and everyone thought she would not live. We had people in our ward who later said, “People say there are no miracles now days, but we say there is a miracle. It is Karen Finlinson.” I think at that time, I was probably the only person who knew she was going to live. I don’t think LaVon thought she would live. The reason I did was because the Lord revealed it to me. I kept working and working, seeking and seeking for things I could do for her. It was a blender. I would feed her out of a blender, sneaking things in that she did not know were in there. As soon as we got on to the idea that we had to do, she started gaining weight and came back with a vengeance. We were blessed.

I think of Karen when I read the 8th chapter of Proverbs 22-23: The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.

Even before the earth was, we were with our Father in Heaven in a family in the pre-mortal existence. It goes on and tells when there were no depths brought forth and continues to talk about before the 25-31. . . “hills was I brought forth: While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world. When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth: When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep: When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth: Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him; Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.

I think of Karen rejoicing daily before our Father in Heaven. She rejoiced daily before us. She came into the world on her tip toes. She was dancing around like Diane referenced and she made everybody happy. I remember she went on a field trip with her Kindergarten to the Phoenix Zoo. When she came back, I put her on my lap in the office. She didn’t know that I had a tape recorder on and interviewed her about her trip to the Zoo. We had so much fun and she giggled, laughed, jumped and had such a good time during that interview. I would say, “What did you see?” “Oh, we saw some monkeys.” “What did they do?” “(Sound and example.)” “Are you a monkey?” “Oh no!” She just giggled and had a good time. That showed how bubbly she was in her youth.

I am talking to mainly our grandchildren and others who are here who are starting to mold their lives, looking to what the future might be. Take someone out. If it can’t be your parents then find someone else and model for them. Karen was a model. She prayed to find her husband. She got one out of the sky. (Laughter) . . . come by and pick up Karen with all her baggage and . . . . It happens! It’s a miracle. Eric came all the way from Little Rock to propose to Karen. He did it on a train in a park down in the center of Mesa, kind of a romantic thing to hang on that old train. They came home and LaVon and I were in the office quite late at night. She opened up the door and she said, “We’re going to be married.” We were thrilled to death and called all of our kids that night. Some of them had to wake up to tell them that Karen and Eric were going to be married. From that time on, we tried to help Karen get her things in order. Remember, she was on dialyses three times a week and we took her out and brought her back. She said, “I come out of dialyses and I feel like crap for two days, start feeling good and then I have to go back and it hits me.” She didn’t like it at all. Eric didn’t like it. I think it was a thing of joy when David finally came down with a beautiful kidney to give her.

I don’t have time to go over all the wonderful things that have come to be in attending to Karen in her life. LaVon did all she could, but she was beset with arthritis when she was 30 years old. She was struggling with her own situation and it was deteriorating. She was having problems. Someone could walk next to Karen and her problems and the things we were helping her through.

I wanted to tell you a couple of things. I have always been restored by the light. I am a believer in letting your heart be drawn out to your Father in Heaven. You don’t just say prayers kneeling down. It is not a position of the body. It is talking to your Father in Heaven. You can do it any time and under any condition. You say, “Father, this is what I want to talk to you about.” Talk to Him just like you would talk to your own father. Often, you will have answers before you have finished your prayer and some of them will be so solid and a bit scary as to whether you even want to push that far or not, but you will be able to be blessed immediately on petitioning your Father in Heaven for many things. I made it a habit while I was attending Karen and evening came . . . .help her with prayer and so forth. I always gave her a blessing. Some people say, “Oh, you don’t give priesthood blessings. You give one for one illness and so on.” I said, “You give priesthood blessings every time you are impressed to do it.” It can be every day if it is needed or twice a day. I feel like He will sustain our blessings and on her faith and save her in the Plan of Salvation. She had a very strong faith wrought out of her challenges and the things she had been taught.

She comes from a royal lineage, even if you wanted to talk about the people in early pioneer days. We talk about Edward Partridge, Lydia Partridge, John Smith and by the way my fellow Patriarch from Mesa Central Stake is here. He is my cousin Smith. He goes back through Silas and I go back through John, who were brothers. We talk about Amasa Lyman and the wonderful things he was able to do and how faithful her was in the Church. The crowning blessing was that we went back to Little Rock, Arkansas and started fishing around in the genealogy and saw Thomas Callister. That is my great grandfather. He comes through Thomas Callister and I come through the Smith line. He had more than one wife. I come through the Smith line and Eric comes through the Helen R. Clark line. We have a real interesting thing about that. When Tom Callister married Caroline Smith, who was my great grandmother, she had been hit by lightning in her youth and was crippled. She did all the sewing, skinning, mending of clothes and was an expert in all those things. John Smith who was my great, great grandfather came to Thomas Callister and said, “Now Brother Callister, when you marry your next wife, you need to marry someone who is strong and can do the heavy work.” In a very short time, he married Helen R. Clark and she proved herself to be strong as she had twelve children. She literally did. I have letters from my grandmother telling about Helen R. Clark and how hard she worked and what she did to help the family. We are related and come through this wonderful line.

I wanted to mention to you that when Eric and Karen announced their marriage, I immediately kicked into gear to try to help Karen clean out her room, get rid of some magazines and do whatever she wanted to do, get her laundry ready. I am a journal keeper and went back to read what happened every day to our family. Some of them I don’t want to read. I wanted to make reference here. I was in the laundry room doing some of Karen’s laundry, getting ready to fold it up. I was folding laundry while looking out the window and thinking. I wrote, “I was folding clothes in the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home.” Sometimes before I give a Patriarchal Blessing, I just lay back in a chair and think of the person and start giving them a blessing. Sometimes, the things I do are impressed on my mind and they come out in blessings, sometimes given and sometimes not. I had that practice of doing that sometimes when I give a blessing.

I was in “the laundry room, thinking of her and some thoughts of the possibilities of giving her a blessing before she leaves our home. I thought, I bless you, Karen, (and it came to my mind) and reassure you that your calling and election is made sure. This is very strong, but the same reassuring spirit came upon me. I could hardly contain my emotions for a while. Dr. Woolf, who is the doctor who restored her eyesight, came by to pick up something from Karen and I accompanied him to his car and the same reassurance came to me by a familiar electrical feeling down my spine. I wept some and prayed to the Lord if I should divulge this.”

I have not divulged this to almost anyone, but feel it is appropriate today. You can go home and cross reference your scriptures and say the Lord is not going to give someone a blessing like that just in a moment.

“I do not know if it will be given to Karen in a blessing or if it was just for my edification as her father. I will await the feelings that will come to me. Karen has endured her afflictions with patience. The Lord says, ‘Ye shall be exalted’ if you endure your afflictions with patience.”

I put a little star here and was thinking back on something that happened to me two or three weeks previous. On February 25th at Richard Williams farewell. I had an experience I had to write down. “As the meeting began, Gary brought Karen in and sat her down on the front row by me.” At the time, Karen was completely blind. Her hemorrhaging in her eyes had caused the sockets to fill up with blood, which were drained and then . . . .put in and she could see. That is not unusual, particularly when you are on dialysis. I had a special feeling as I sat through the meeting. “Much flooded into my mind concerning all Karen had co gracefully endured in her years. The closing song was sung.” I cannot remember the name of the song. It is one we called committee songs that were new and we didn’t think it was very nice that I couldn’t remember it. “I was impressed by the spirit that we had been attending a royal person through her sojourn upon the earth.” This was really something to me. “I was again overcome by the spirit that confirmed this.” Whenever I have something come to me from the Lord, I ask for a confirmation because sometimes it can play games with me, but if I get a confirmation then I’m okay. The confirmation came and the impression was that I was placed in close proximity to Karen to attend her. I have the same feeling about my wife. I even hesitate to write such impressions for they are to tender and private. I wanted to share this with you as one of the many things that had come to me.

I want to say one more thing. I know we are going over in time. I was out walking one day - I walk 45 minutes to an hour, three times each week - and Mark called on the cell phone. He was telling me distraught he was that Karen had gone through a 12-13 hour operation and she looked really bad. He didn’t tell me that day, but later told me he didn’t think she would make it. I was pondering on Karen’s situation as I went down the canal bank, came up by a little sunken park by Harris Street, came around to Smith’s street and turned the corner. As I turned the corner I had an overbearing feeling that lasted a good minute or two confirming to me that the Lord was hearing our petitions. We all had been praying fervently and pleading with the Lord about Karen. He reassured me that He was hearing our pleading. He didn’t give me any end to it, like Karen is going to be able to come through it. I was stopped short. I stood - whatever Thy will is, we will adhere to it and take it as well as we can. We were not imposing upon Him, or whining to Him for something that was not in the picture. I was satisfied at that time, that we just push forward and do all we can, that the Lord would have it come out according to His outcome.

LaVon and I came up early. We were trying to come for Memorial Day, but we got a call from Eric and he said, “Karen has had internal bleeding problems and they have got to go back in and take care of that.” He was in a dilemma. He was ready to fly. He had not been flying. He had been up there taking care of the situation with Karen. We called him back and said “Mother and I will pack up and come to Salt Lake. Don’t worry about it.” I came up. Mark was relieved. I think he had been doing all he could to help her. I started staying at the hospital anywhere from 8-10 hours per day. I gave Karen a number of blessings. Toward the end, one of the blessings I gave her - I had not thought about it or pre-thought about it, but it just came out - she would be blessed with a clear perception of everything that happened to her to the end. To see her in the condition she was in . . . . Actually, the doctors and nurses were amazed at how clear Karen stayed right to the end, in her mind, and was able to communicate with them except for just a day or two. That was a great blessing to her. Then, she came back from a walk down the hall and said, “Dad, everything was gray. I couldn’t see anything. There was a gray cast on everything.” The next day, she came back and said, “I couldn’t even see the lights in the hall.” I said, “Well Karen, I’ll give you a blessing and the Lord will take care of it.” We didn’t know what was happening. Finally, we got an ophthalmologist in and said, “There is no internal bleeding in the eye socket or anything like that.” What it was, was a devastating situation that affected her optic nerve and she lost her sight. She never really complained about that. She accepted it.

One day she said, “Dad, if I could go to the other side today, I would be most happy.” She kept repeating that she felt it was her time and she would be happy to go. She was not happy to leave her children, husband and all of this, but she knew it was inevitable that she would pass through the veil at this time. It has been a great comfort to me to have been close to her and be able to rub her feet, hands, neck and back, whatever I could do to help her. We have had such tremendous response from the family. I cannot tell you the sacrifices Mark and Kim have made. Bruce became known as ‘Nurse Bruce.’ I don’t know if I could count, but I am sure he was there 10 nights in a row with no respite. He just came every night. He prayed that he could do that and again came. Everyone in our family has been so tremendous. I don’t know how to thank all of them for what they have done.

I want to leave Karen’s life and study it. Study it! Pattern your life after it. When you are sealed in the temple when you are married, all of us have been sealed, that is the protection in this life from the wiles of Satan. Keep your covenants. We are a covenant people. We are through Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and through Joseph that was sold into Egypt, through Ephraim that has the responsibility now of teaching the children of the Lord the Gospel here upon the earth. Live the commandments accurately. You cannot compromise the commandments. The Lord knows what is best for you and what will bring you happiness and joy in your life. If you don’t live them, you will suffer the consequences. We have the promise to us that if we keep our covenants, all our children will eventually come to us, but if they don’t live properly, they will have to go through a state of repentance, placing themselves back in a position where they will be given happiness. We are praying that they will all stay true. The Lord has prepared blessings for us. They are there awaiting us and we just need to follow Karen’s life, my wife’s life, Eric’s life, and pick out whoever you want to add to them as they are all wonderful people, and you will be blessed greatly.

I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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